The Wolfman (2010)

Directed by Joe Johnston [Other horror films: N/A]

Perhaps the very definition of average, The Wolfman has some really cool and memorable scenes, but also peters out almost entirely come the ending with some elements I don’t at all care for.

I won’t pretend that I remember enough about the original to compare to the two, but I will say that this story is decent up until the end. I enjoyed many aspects of the asylum sequences, along with the following breakout and chase through London, but once it was werewolf vs. werewolf (not too dissimilar from the finale of 30 Days of Night, only with vampires), I ceased being impressed. And to be fair, at least I’m consistent, as I didn’t love the finale to 30 Days of Night either.

There’s some solid werewolf action in the film, to be sure. I always loved that Romani attack near the beginning, which had a decent amount of brutal claw damage, and plenty of attacks throughout the movie are worth it, and filmed well too, but that doesn’t really make up for what I see as failings with how the movie concludes.

Also, I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t love Benicio Del Toro as Talbot. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I just didn’t buy it. Anthony Hopkins was, as always, a pleasure to see, though again, some character aspects turn me away from him. I was lukewarm toward Emily Blunt’s character, but on the upside, I did rather like Hugo Weaving (and his demands of a pint of bitter).

The Wolfman’s a fine film, but it’s not a great film. It’s action-packed, sure, and like I said, some parts are pretty solid, but much of the time, it just feels like a glossy Hollywood period piece, and I contend The Woman in Black remake did it better, and with more atmosphere to boot.

Still, a good werewolf movie is hard to come by, and I’d say that The Wolfman certainly counts. It didn’t blow me away, and having seen it twice, it really does strike me as ultimately average, but it’s a decent movie still despite my misgivings.

7/10

Insidious (2010)

Directed by James Wan [Other horror films: Stygian (2000), Saw (2004), Dead Silence (2007), The Conjuring (2013), Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013), The Conjuring 2 (2016), Malignant (2021)]

Well, at least there were some super scary jump scares, so I guess the movie’s not all a waste, right?

As it is, this is a film I had little interest in for quite some time, which is partially why it took nine years after it was released for me to actually watch it, and the sad thing is, even with that in mind, I still found the movie rather disappointing.

It’s not as though Insidious is an overly horrible film, though – I can certainly see why mainstream audiences might be enthralled by it. As for fans of the horror genre, though, I guess that I failed to see what’s so impressive about it. Jump scare after jump scare with ‘scary’ music to make the jump scares scarier and OMG another jump scare help me I’m scared

Obviously, this movie hit the right spots for some people, and I’ll certainly say that elements are pretty solid (such as the subtler approach to horror in a few scenes), and the plot itself is decently interesting. Even the end, when Patrick Wilson’s character goes into The Further, I was fine with it. I sort of liked the almost A Nightmare on Elm Street vibe of the Red-faced demon’s chamber, what with him sharpening his claws to Tiny Tim’s dulcet tones.

I saw (and I suspect it’s the same for most) the twist behind Wilson’s character a mile away, and the ending just didn’t impress me whatsoever. It felt so damn Hollywood, and didn’t do anything to at all to help end the film on a more positive note.

The principle cast is all fine. Patrick Wilson (of classics such as Hard Candy and The Conjuring) did pretty solidly, and everyone else, including Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye (who I amazingly still recognized from the 1984 aforementioned classic, A Nightmare on Elm Street, along with the more recent 2003 Dead End), and Barbara Hershey, did well also, though none of the three blew me away. Leigh Whannell (of Saw fame) was nice to see, but the brand of humor he and his cohort Angus Sampson brought to the film didn’t do it for me.

All-in-all, I’m not really surprised that Insidious didn’t impress me. In the past, I’ve heard it compared positively with Paranormal Activity, which is a film I utterly hated. I get how Insidious could impress some people, and obviously if it’s your type of film, by all means, enjoy it. I will admit it had potential with the story. But that ending was Hollywood tripe (and in fact, it’s not altogether removed from what you’d see on Syfy), and while I appreciate portions of the film, this isn’t one I plan on watching again for at least twenty years.

5.5/10

This is one of the films discussed on Fight Evil’s podcast. If interested in hearing Chucky (@ChuckyFE) and I talk this one over, look no further.

Triassic Attack (2010)

Directed by Colin Ferguson [Other horror films: N/A]

Look at the plot of this Syfy TV movie, and you can probably tell that it’ll be bad. Awful, even. Which is what I thought when I first saw it some years back (probably around when it first aired). Seeing it again, though, I have to admit, I find the movie somewhat, well, comforting.

The strong point here isn’t in the CGI dinosaur skeletons which are causing all the havoc, as they are just overly ridiculous and nonsensical (how can a skeleton growl without throat muscles, or sniff?). In a way, it a fun concept – a Native American spell brings the bones to life to protest development on traditionally tribal land, but come on, the skeletons look terrible.

What appealed to me about Triassic Attack were the characters, though. There’s some retroactive appreciation here, to be sure – one of the stars is Emilia Clarke, who began playing Daenerys Targaryen in the ultra-popular series Game of Thrones. Seeing the Mother of Dragons play a moderately bratty teenage girl isn’t something I got to experience the first time I saw the film, and that certainly adds a little something.

Even ignoring Clarke, though, there are some solid performances here, such as Steven Brand (who consistently reminded me of Ben McKenzie) and Raoul Max Trujillo. Christopher Villiers and Gabriel Womack made for fine comedic characters, but Kirsty Mitchell was somewhat shaky throughout.

The family dynamics between Brand, Mitchell, Clarke, and Trujillo actually got me invested, though, despite the silly story. One brother who believes in traditional Native American religions and another who is much more the modern, integrated one made for some good drama. And I don’t know why, exactly, but it worked.

If you look online, many people give this movie quite a low rating, and I can certainly see why people would give it such, especially since I used to be one of them. But I found Triassic Attack entertaining, probably more entertaining than I should have. The question is, would this be a movie I’d buy on DVD and pop in on a rainy night to watch, and the answer is yes. It’s not one of Syfy’s better offers, but I cannot deny that I enjoyed it, and ultimately, that’s all that matters.

7/10

Whistle and I’ll Come to You (2010)

Directed by Andy De Emmony [Other horror films: Love Bite (2012)]

A BBC television production based on a classic story by M.R. James, this short feature is both somewhat sluggish but ultimately a spooky adaptation.

The story is pretty simple, partially because it’s an adaptation, and partly because it’s only about fifty minutes long. There’s a good moody, atmospheric feeling to this film, and it works well, but at the same time, I think it lacks a bit of meat.

No disappointments from the cast, though. John Hurt does a fantastic job as a depressed man who just put his wife into a nursing home. Hurt really brought a lot of feeling to this, and is probably the best reason to watch this. The rest of the admittedly small cast worked out also, what with Gemma Jones (Pomfrey from a few of the Harry Potter films), Lesley Sharp (who was in a Doctor Who episode titled ‘Midnight’), and Sophie Thompson.

What works best about this movie is the downbeat, depressing aura, along with the pretty suspenseful scenes at the end. Even the spectral figure on the deserted beach was a nice touch (the setting as a whole, an almost-empty hotel near the sea, was beautiful). This said, I felt that this was lacking something. Not enough to make it anywhere near a bad film, but still, not something I’d eagerly watch again in the future. As decent as some scenes were, I’d rate this around average.

7/10

Don’t Go in the Woods (2010)

dont go in the woods

Directed by Vincent D’Onofrio [Other horror films: N/A]

I probably like this film more than I have any right to, especially looking at what many others say about it. But after having seen it twice, Don’t Go in the Woods is still a movie I could see myself watching again down the line.

Let’s get this out of the way first, as I think it’s rather important: if you’re looking for a new horror favorite, don’t look here. Make no mistake, some of the kills are brutal in this one (the main weapon is a sledgehammer – could you imagine them being anything but?), but it takes about an hour to really start throwing out some solid horror, and in an eighty minute film, that might not do it for most, even if they’re fans of the genre. The story’s not dripping in creativity either, and if you didn’t see that plot twist from a mile away, I wouldn’t even know what to say.

The selling point of this movie is that it’s part-musical. As a fan of the occasional musical myself, I don’t think it’s a bad idea, and really, I think the fact that I like most of the songs in the film leads me to enjoy this movie more than most people seem to (the rating on IMDb, as of this writing, is 2.6/10). There are scenes of the band sitting around a campfire singing songs that last ten, fifteen minutes. No horror, just music. And I think that wouldn’t sit well with many. What can I say, other than I didn’t have a problem with it?

There were some decent kills, as I alluded to, and while there was some occasional gore, and a little splatter, I wouldn’t say that it was anything special. A sledgehammer to the head, along with a somewhat fun sleeping bag butchering, were probably my two favorite kills. That said, given the story’s not really that amazing, I don’t think it’s enough to recommend the film to hardcore horror fans.

Matt Sbeglia is really the only one in this movie who is noteworthy. Everyone else, for the most part, is either a generic cut-out or just okay. Many of them can sing pretty well (if that was indeed the actors actually singing), but as for a stand-out performance, Sbeglia gets the closest, and to be honest, he wasn’t that amazing.

Directed by well-known actor Vincent D’Onofrio, Don’t Go in the Woods, due to it’s being almost more a musical than horror, probably wouldn’t do it for many fans of the genre. How many good musical horror movies are out there anyway? Maybe 2014’s Stage Fright? So if you go in expecting a horror film, I think the long, drawn-out musical portions will disappoint. But like I said, I think most of the music is decent, so despite the bland story and terribly cliche twist, even after two viewings, I think this movie’s somewhat decent. Still below average, but decent.

6.5/10

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

Directed by Eli Craig [Other horror films: Zombieland (2013), Little Evil (2017)]

This will be a shorter review than usual, as there’s not much to say about this film (in this case, it’s a positive).

If you don’t know much about this bloody comedy-horror flick, it might sound a bit dumb at first. And sure, in some ways, it is overly ridiculous. But at the same time, I do think the theme of miscommunication is done pretty cleverly throughout the movie.

There are only four actors who matter. Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) have an amazing chemistry as two hillbilly friends, and play their roles fantastically. Dale has a lot of heart in him, and it’s nice to see his story end happily. Katrina Bowden played Allison, an aspiring therapist caught in the middle of this giant misunderstanding, extraordinarily well also. She has a fresh, attractive college look to her, but also has the brains to figure out what’s going on. Jesse Moss (who was in Ginger Snaps ten years prior) plays a great villain, and gets the utterly psychotic act down pat.

The movie is about average length, but still comes across as pretty digestible, and at no parts throughout the film are you really bored. The gore and related special effects are pretty damn good, lending this movie the right to probably be called a splatter film. Solidly funny, surprisingly clever, Tucker and Dale vs Evil is a good film that’s worth seeing. I think you’ll enjoy it.

8/10

This was also covered in the first episode of Fight Evil’s podcast, as Chucky (@ChuckyFE) and I briefly discuss it, which you can listen to below.

Ghosts Don’t Exist (2010)

Ghosts Don't Exist

Directed by Eric Espejo [Other horror films: N/A]

This surprised me. I’ve not heard of this film before I watched it – it’s one of those post-2005 horror films that slipped through my fingers. Which makes sense, really – supernatural movies, especially ghost films, have never been my favorite. But Ghosts Don’t Exist was a pretty decent, if not a bit generic, movie.

Acting was okay all around – nothing too special. I did rather enjoy Josh Davidson’s character (a rather arrogant skeptic), and the lead, an emotionally-unstable ghost hunter, was also well-played by Phillip Roebuck. The story, like I alluded to earlier, isn’t overly original: it comes across as a ghost story, but some elements certainly make us question if everything is as it seems. About three-fourths into the film, actually, a plot twist rears it’s head, and I have to admit, I rather liked it. It was reminiscent of a 2004 Japanese film I rather enjoy, truth be told.

I liked the movie before the twist came about, but afterwards, it just got better. Problematically, though, the movie runs for an hour and 40 minutes, which, while was mostly okay, still seemed a bit lengthy. Ten to fifteen minutes could have been cut out, and we’d probably still be fine. Regardless, while generic in some ways, the last ten-ish minutes were rather atypical – I certainly didn’t see it coming, especially from a modern horror film. Ghosts Don’t Exist isn’t amazing, but it did surprise me, and I liked it well enough.

7.5/10

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

Birdemic Shock and Terror

Directed by James Nguyen [Other horror films: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)]

I’ve not seen this film before, but I’ve long heard it was a doozy, and boy, is it ever.

I won’t go into all that’s wrong about this movie. The meandering first half, focusing on a boring individuals’ romantic life for the first 48 minutes. The clearly computer-animated birds, and the fact that they somehow have the ability to dive bomb into buildings and blow up. The stilted acting and atrocious dialogue. The minute-long scene of people clapping. The stock music on repeat. The prolonged ending. About everything that could go wrong in a movie went wrong here.

I’ll say one positive thing about this movie: the actress who played Natalie, Whitney Moore, was pretty attractive. She couldn’t act worth shit, but she did do far better than Alan Bagh, who gave one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a while. And the constant talking about going green, and solar panels, and preventing global warming. Obviously, I’m all for these things, but come on, tone it down. This movie is not helping the case to go green whatsoever.

Aside from the pretty Moore, this movie is an embarrassment. Definitely a movie to watch with a bunch of friends while drunk or high, but that’s about it. Still, as bad as it is, you will definitely be amused, which is why it’s not getting a lower rating.

3/10

Piranha 3D (2010)

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Directed by Alexandre Aja [Other horror films: Haute tension (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Mirrors (2008), Horns (2013), Crawl (2019)]

I don’t think anyone would claim this movie amazing, or I hope no one would, anyway. But it does accomplish it’s goal, and that’s to entertain the hell out of the audience.

Most of the characters are annoying idiots, but as half of them get eaten in the fantastic piranha rampage about halfway through the movie, I can’t rightly hold it against them. Some of the characters are solid, though – Sheriff Forester does all she can to both ensure the safety of her own children and her community. Deputy Fallon goes all out in trying to save people during the rampage. Jake’s valiant attempts to save Kelly, a character herself who sort of got pulled into this whole thing, show him a person of high worth. So we have some solid people, who I feel make up well for the Derricks of the world.

The gore in the movie, at least to me, is the biggest selling point, and I feel they did pretty well. The aforementioned massacre has long been a favorite scene of mine – the blood, the chaos, all done so wonderfully. The nudity’s a bit less captivating, but I can only imagine it’d help pull some more people in to watch the film. Overall, this second Piranha remake (after the 1995 failure few recall) is quite enjoyable for what it is. It’s not amazing, not to me, but it does what it set out to do, and that’s all I can ask.

7.5/10