Tag: 2010

Saw 3D (2010)

Directed by Kevin Greutert [Other horror films: Saw VI (2009), Jessabelle (2014), Visions (2015), Jackals (2017), Saw X (2023)]

Boy, as a long-time Saw fan, I have a lot to say about this one, and I only hope I can keep my rambling to a minimum.

Saw 3D, also known under the title Saw: The Final Chapter, is quite a disappointing film. There’s plenty of reasons why, but I also want to be clear right now: I will be giving some spoilers to this movie in order to cover it to the best of my ability, so if you’ve not seen Saw 3D, do not read further.

Firstly, let’s discuss the 3D – it’s terrible. I know around this time, 3D movies were coming out like crickets on a quiet night, but just because it was a trend doesn’t mean Saw had to follow suit. The 3D added absolutely nothing to the movie, and though you could say it’s one of the film’s smaller sins – the story and structure and execution of twists far worse – it’s still emblematic of the problems Saw 3D has.

Let’s talk turkey, though, ‘turkey’ being my code-word for plot. Following the events of the last movie, Mark Hoffman is on the warpath, his prime target being Jill (who, if you didn’t know, attempted to kill Hoffman, and while it just ended up disfiguring him, you can tell he’s none-too-pleased). Jill then decides to go to the police, specifically Internal Affairs detective Matt Gibson (Chad Donella). Why Matt Gibson? I don’t really know, as he’s never been mentioned, let alone appeared, until this movie.

While Jill is trying to ensure her survival against an angry Hoffman, a self-help speaker (Sean Patrick Flanery), who has been amassing fame and wealth by speaking about his survival of one of Jigsaw’s traps, is placed in a new game. Like William Easton in Saw VI, he’s forced to go through a bunch of traps, attempting to help his friends and staff from grisly fates, and face the lies that brought him to where he is now.

In theory, that portion of the film should at least be suitable, but it’s really not. The sixth film had some really solid portions during the game, but here, it feels largely weak. There’s a portion where he has to talk a blindfolded friend over planks, so the friend doesn’t fall to his death. Tense, perhaps, but not particularly great. Sure, someone has their eyes and mouth at risk of spikes, but I didn’t feel a whole lot of care for anyone involved.

Perhaps the most interesting trap, at least in this section, was one in which a woman was tied down, and the key to unlock her was on a fishhook that’s in her stomach. Flanery’s character has to pull the fishing line from her mouth, doing God knows what type of internal damage, all while any speaking, or screaming, will ensure that the woman’s throat gets pierced by spikes. I’m not saying this is a great execution, but at least it’s something. The idea of having a fishhook pulled through your innards is not what I’d call a fun time. Some props, though, to that pulling-teeth section.

Perhaps because of the 3D nature, though, some of the movie feels really over-the-top. There’s a group of survivors from Saw traps (and we see some familiar faces), and as one woman recounts her survival story (of a trap previously unseen), it seems almost goofy. The trap with two men and the woman they’re both in a relationship with, set up in the middle of a busy city center, seemed far too ridiculous to feel real. Oh, and that dream sequence – I say again, dream sequence – of Jill’s, where she’s caught by Hoffman and killed by some silly train thing, was so fucking cringe boys.

However, the most over-the-top award goes to that junkyard trap. A bunch of racists are placed in a complicated trap. It looks painful – a man’s glued to a seat of a car, and has to pull forward, tearing the skin from his back in large chunks, to potentially free them all – but given the victims are racist, and the movie wants to show some carnage, it comes as absolutely no surprise that things go the way they go.

Onto perhaps the most important thing here, though, I need to speak about Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes). Ever since the end of the first movie, and the fact that he wasn’t mentioned as dead in the follow-up film, I’ve been of the opinion that Gordon survived. I even thought it likely that he was blackmailed by John to help him out with some of the traps. I know others out there thought the same thing – I have no idea of the percentage of Saw fans who would proudly claim “I believe Gordon is alive,” but I can say that others thought people like me distasteful.

Well, as it turns out, Gordon did survive. That in itself isn’t a big spoiler, because the movie opens showing how he was crawling from the bathroom following the events of the first film, and how he cauterizes his stump (which looked painful as FUCK). The real spoilers of his character come later on, but I think they’re executed particularly poorly. It hurts most, because Gordon’s return was something I had been hoping for for many years, and they bring him back in an execution as shoddy at this? More than anything – the 3D, that stupid fucking dream sequence, the over-the-top junkyard trap – this pissed me off something awful.

I appreciated Costas Mandylor in Saw VI, but I have to say that he’s starting to feel a bit OP. He’s not John – he used inferior blades and knives in the past, and he doesn’t have the Godlike omniscience that John did, and yet he’s like Hannibal Lecter the way he massacres through people. Actually, I started wondering if he had some military training in the past, and though this might be a small thing, if they had mentioned that indeed, he was in the Special Forces for a stint, I would have found Hoffman’s role here more believable. That said, I did appreciate his plan to break into the police department – solid stuff.

Betsy Russell’s Jill here feels sort of weak, in comparison. She honestly only got a few moments to shine in the last film, but here, it’s like she’s completely out of her depth. I’ll admit that I found Chad Donella (Final Destination) amusing at times, though he seems a far cry from the threat posed by Peter Strahm. Sean Patrick Flanery (The Evil Within, Lasso, Kaw, Mongolian Death Worm) did fine, but his character struck me as somewhat pointless, truth be told.

The most exciting face for me to see, of course, is that of Cary Elwes (The Alphabet Killer, Hellgate, Psych:9), but I don’t really think they do justice with his character, which is a damn disappointment, given how long I’ve waited for this.

I’m not going to say that Saw 3D is a terrible movie, but I can say that I think it’s the first movie in the series that’s below average. It’s not an utter disaster, but given how great the first movie is, and how sequels generally did well to keep the standards high, this was just a major let-down, especially as a long-time fan of the series.

6/10

Angmareul boatda (2010)

Directed by Kim Jee-woon [Other horror films: Joyonghan gajok (1998), Keomingaus (2000), Sam gang (2002), Janghwa, Hongryun (2003), Illyumyeolmangbogoseo (2012)]

Commonly known under the title I Saw the Devil, this South Korean film is a true treat. A bloody and brutal story of revenge, Angmareul boatda would likely make most horror fans happy, and perhaps more important, most movie fans happy.

Certainly it’s not a movie for everyone, though. When you have a film that has so much violence – someone’s Achilles heal being cut, very bloody stabbings, a decapitation that brings with it some emotional impact, a cannibal eating some of that scrumptious human flesh – some people won’t much care for it. Luckily, though, if you’ve a fan of thrillers, or action films, or revenge movies in general, this may be of interest. Personally, like Battle Royale, I think there’s enough here to classify it as a horror film, but also like Battle Royale, it’s true to say that the movie’s far more than that.

Following a man’s revenge after a serial killer dismembers his fiancée, I Saw the Devil is a depressing and rather dark film. It’s fun watching Lee Byung-hun’s character get his revenge, but all the while, he’s becoming more and more similar to the man he’s chasing, and when things stop going his way, they really stop going his way (not that the murder of his wife was going his way, but to all things, there is a season). It’s not a happy movie, and the finale is also not ringing of hopefulness. Even so, it’s definitely a well-made one.

And obviously, you don’t need me to tell you that. I Saw the Devil is a very well-known and well-respected film. It currently has a 7.8/10 on IMDb with over 138,000 votes, so this isn’t some kind of hidden gem. The cinematography is stellar, the story is simple, yet engaging, and the special effects here really add a lot to applaud.

Oh, and it’s also two hours and twenty minutes long. It’s a lengthy boi, but like I said, that doesn’t at all hurt how engaging the film is, and while it’s not wall-to-wall action, there’s not many five-minute stretches here without something to get you going, which is certainly impressive.

I don’t think I have complaints about any of the cast. Lee Byung-hun (Three… Extremes) made for a stellar lead, and Choi Min-sik (The Quiet Family) a despicable and memorable antagonist. These two were great together. Others I particularly enjoyed were Jeon Gook-hwan, Moo-Seong Choi, Yoon-seo Kim, and Lee Jun-hyuk. Again, most performances were great, but it’s really Byung-hun and Min-sik who steal the show.

It’s an action-packed film with a lot going for it. It’s a lot more violent than your average action film, but I can imagine that if you’re into movies like The Raid, than this would appeal to it. Certainly it’s far from a typical horror film, but like I said, there’s a lot here that would appeal to fans of the genre.

When I first watched I Saw the Devil, I was impressed. I forget how many years ago that was, but it’s been so long that I forgot a lot of where the story went. I remembered the basics – someone’s woman gets killed, and he seeks revenge – but I forgot a lot of the details, which I’m grateful for. This was a fantastic film to revisit, and if it’s not a movie you’ve seen, then perhaps this South Korean treat should make it’s way onto your want-to-see list.

9/10

Srpski film (2010)

Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic [Other horror films: The ABCs of Death (2012, segment ‘R Is for Removed’)]

I think most people in the horror community have at least heard about this one. Known most commonly as A Serbian Film, Srpski film is a controversial film, sometimes listed as one of the most disturbing movies ever made. Given the content in the film, I don’t have a problem with that label, but I also think it’s fair to say that the film isn’t without merit.

First, though, I should say that I don’t usually go out of my way to watch extreme movies. I’m one of those casuals who watches movies that I think I’ll enjoy (unless I’ve seen it before, in which case I need to rewatch in order to write a review for it, but that’s beside the point), and I don’t find most extreme horror to be likely candidates as an enjoyable film. I’ve seen a handful of more disturbing films, of course – Men Behind the Sun, The Human Centipede, Schramm, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Wedding Trough. I even watched half of Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood (though I turned it off as I was feeling ill).

That said, most extreme cinema isn’t something I’m too keen on seeing, and A Serbian Film is no different. I’d heard of this one plenty of times, of course, but I didn’t know anything about it. I had heard it was disturbing, and sickening, and, from some people, that it never should have been made. It’s hard to pinpoint why I chose to watch this earlier today, but I think it was just plain curiosity – despite not being into these types of movies, I wanted to see if it was as bad as I’ve heard.

And you know what? It’s that case of overhyping things in your mind, because while this movie was definitely disturbing, I was honestly expecting worse. There are three scenes that I found the hardest to watch, and two of them weren’t even that explicit. Disturbing, sure, but not explicit. There was a lot of violence at the end of the film, but at that point, it felt little different than what you’d expect from a rape/revenge movie, at least to me.

I guess what I’m saying is I thought this movie would be worse. I thought I’d be shook after finishing it into a silent stupor, not wanting to talk for the rest of the day. And that didn’t happen. There are some shocking scenes here, but even one of the most disturbing scenes, revolving around the main character’s son, is one that didn’t really come as a surprise to me at all. I’d heard the movie was fucked up, so the fact they went where they did didn’t faze me all that much.

Insofar as the details are concerned, I’m not giving them away here. I can say that there are some decent, gory portions – someone gets decapitated, someone else gets a chunk of flesh torn from their throat, someone gets their eye fucked out. Actually, I have to say, that last one just felt over-the-top in a silly way, so though the movie is a dismal and dark one, that scene sort of took me out of it. It’s a violent and disturbing film, but some of the violence, at least to me, feels entirely typical.

Few of the performances here really stood out that much to me. Sure, Srdjan ‘Zika’ Todorovic made for a perfectly fine lead, and Sergej Trifunovic made a decent antagonist (although I could have done without his rambling about pornography, art, life, and Serbia). I’m not surprised by where Slobodan Bestic’s character went, but I sort of wished we got more from him. Otherwise, though, nobody here really did much for me.

Obviously, A Serbian Film is a movie that would appeal to only a small subsection of movie-lovers. Personally, while I didn’t think it was near as bad as expected, it wasn’t a movie I necessarily enjoyed watching. To be fair, the more objectionable material doesn’t even pop up until an hour into the movie, so it’s not like the whole thing is disgusting, nihilist debauchery. Enough of the last forty minutes are, though, that I think this one viewing will also probably be my last. It has it’s fans, though, so more power to it.

5/10

The Final (2010)

Directed by Joey Stewart [Other horror films: N/A]

It’s been some time since I’ve last seen this one – if I had to guess, likely around 10 years. I remember enjoying The Final when I did see it, though, so I was definitely interested in revisiting it with fresh eyes.

I do think it’s a decent movie, though I also think it’s fair to say that it’s not particularly special in many ways. While I remembered the movie as violent, the gore here strikes me as somewhat tepid, and while the general plot is okay, a few elements aren’t touched on enough (such as the identity of some others involved in the revenge plot of the main characters).

And on that note, let’s get into the plot – a group of bullied kids decide to fight back against those who have bullied them for years. They get them together, drug them, and begin to torture them, both mentally and physically. Before that, we see snippets of their encounters with these bullies, along with a little bit of their home life.

Now, before I make any judgments, I should say that I was never really bullied in high school. I could have been – I was the quiet, wallflower type, with a speech impediment to boot – but I wasn’t, which I am grateful for. That said, I do feel a deep sympathy with the main characters here, and while their vengeance is questionable, I can’t pretend that the stereotypical jocks and pretty girls got much in the way of pity from me.

Even so, though, the movie is pretty tame. Sure, there are a few violent sequences, such as someone getting paralyzed and then stabbed with acupuncture needles, someone getting a couple of fingers cut off, a girl getting her face eaten off by acid. Violent, sure, but the focus isn’t the gore at all, so though there are some disturbing scenes in concept, it’s really not that hard to watch at all.

I also wish we got a bit more characterization for all involved, bullies and bullied alike. I do like the little bit we get from both Vincent Silochan and Eric Isenhowers’ home lives, and what little we get from Lindsay Seidel’s background was decent too. Even so, almost all of the bullies here felt stereotypical, and while I understand the point, it was sometimes hard to take them seriously.

When it comes to performances, I do think that the three I’ve mentioned, being Vincent Silochan, Eric Isenhowers, and Lindsay Seidel, do the best. It’s true that we don’t get a whole lot from Isenhowers’ character, insofar as personality is concerned, but he had a cool look to him, and his banjo picking was classy. Travis Tedford didn’t really make much of an impression, and while Marc Donato (Haunted High, Bad Kids Go to Hell) had some strong moments, he got a bit preachy for me. Otherwise, the only other performance really worth mentioning is Jascha Washington, and it’s not even that his character was that great, but it was nice to see a character who we can actually root for without feeling bad.

I think, though, that the movie’s decent even without the best characterization. True, the opening scene struck me as somewhat pointless (reminding me a bit of Terrifier’s opening), and I’d have liked a bit more focus on the others helping with the revenge scheme (which, according to IMDb trivia, was planned, but the scenes were later cut, leaving only a reference or two to their identities), but it’s still a pretty painless movie.

It’s not necessarily great at all, but it’s not a bad time to spend an hour and a half. It might be a smidge above average, but it’s close – either way, The Final’s not something I think would blow anyone away, but it can be an okay time.

7.5/10

Tempus Adolpha (2010)

Directed by Shaun Robertson [Other horror films: N/A]

Some movies are almost beyond explanation, and Tempus Adolpa is one of those types of films.

The story is pretty simple – a gay couple is attacked by a gang of werewolves, and one of them survives to become a time-traveling werewolf out to avenge the death of his lover. Well, I don’t know how simple it is, but while it’s definitely a campy comedy/horror mix, it can be an enjoyable experience. The time-travel aspect does lead to some okay ideas also, though nothing that I think would surprise many.

I’ve got to talk about the presentation, though. Look, I’ve said before that I don’t know anything when it comes to behind-the-scenes editing, or anything about how people actually make movies. According to the video description on YouTube, this is “The last film to be filmed with a hi-8 camcorder!” I don’t know what a hi-8 camcorder is, or how hard it would be to make a movie on it, but what I can say is that it seems pretty much every scene was recorded in front of a green screen.

By that, I mean that all the actors have sort of a fuzzy, shimmering lines around them, and it’s obvious the background images are static, and not actual locations the scenes are being filmed at. It’s extraordinarily amataur, as you can imagine, and I’ve never seen anything like it, but I can’t deny there’s both charm and gall in making a movie like that.

There’s no way I can describe this movie and do it justice. As one of the characters uses a watch to go back in time, a black-and-white portal (that looks like it was found on Google Images) pops up, and he goes through it. Well, by ‘goes through it,’ I mean he walks toward it and disappears instantly, cause that’s how portals do.

You have to see this for yourself, because again, I don’t have the right vocabulary to describe this experience. I can say that the werewolf transformations are absolutely abysmal, and I loved them. I can also say that one of the scenes in the movie – a dream a character is having about a werewolf singing ‘Beauty School Dropout’ from Grease – is just beautiful. But talking about these scenes and seeing them are two different things.

The performances are all awful, but it’s a campy comedic movie about a gay, time-traveling werewolf that takes place in the United Kingdom, so I largely cut them a lot of slack. Jack Gardner did just fine as the main character, and his camp gay personality is amusing. Lee James Rosher actually has an emotional scene toward the end, so while he wasn’t in the movie much overall, he definitely stood out. Jasmine Atkins-Smart and Tom Cruz could have done with more personality, but at least Atkins-Smart was occasionally fun.

Some of the music here was decent. True, I could have done without that version of ‘Beauty School Dropout,’ but the song that starts during the finale and plays through the credits, ‘Just Go’ by Nick Celino, was actually quite nice. ‘No Regret’ by Tony Gardner was rough (reminding me of low-budget classic Linkin Park), but I actually thought it showed a lot of potential. You have a band called 3 Daze Lost who perform a song ‘Win Win Situation’ as a gang of werewolves are slaughtering people on the dance-floor, so that was fun also.

The special effects here are, well, not great. But like I said, what this movie lacks in budget, quality, and common courtesy, it makes up for in heart and gall. It’s a terrible movie, and I’ve suspected that ever since I first heard about this one, but it’s truly an experience that I won’t forget. And again, I really do find the ending rather sad.

Tempus Adolpha isn’t a movie that many people would care for. On IMDb, this has under 5 votes, and it’s been available on YouTube in full for years, so I have that idea on good authority. However, as atrocious as it can be, it’s a 63-minute movie that I did have fun watching, so I can dig it.

7/10

The Maze (2010)

Directed by Stephen Shimek [Other horror films: Nocturne (2016)]

I don’t know if The Maze is an easy movie to look at. Certainly I found most of the first 50 minutes rather unspectacular and quite generic, but the film also changes gears in the final 35 minutes or so, and while not executed amazingly well, I deeply appreciate what they were going for.

In fact, it’s because of the finale that I remember this movie as much as I do. I saw it many years back (since the movie came out 2010, I’d wager to say I saw it no later than 2013, and it’s March 2022 as I write this), and really, the only thing I remembered about it, aside from the fact much of it took place in a corn maze, is the finale, which I thought was stellar. Well, the execution isn’t stellar, but seeing it again, damn it, I still liked it.

The first 55 minutes, though, is, as I said, rather generic, following a group of five friends being stalked and killed while playing tag in a corn maze. There’s not much here that’s really interesting – even the killer, who perpetually wears a red hoodie, is utterly unspectacular – and it can feel pretty dull, even once the tepid killings begin.

Luckily, the latter portion of the film follows the only survivor as they’re taken in by the local police and has an opportunity to relay what happened to their friends. Naturally, the killer isn’t happy that one of his would-be victims got away, so attempts to remedy this by going after them, even if they’re in police custody. It might not sound like much, but it’s also here that we discover more about the killer, and I entirely dug it.

There’s not much in the way of memorable performances. I sort of liked Seven Castle’s (what an interesting name that is, on a side-note; sounds like an amusement park – oh, and she was in 2015’s Delirium) character, though, like many of her friends, we never learned a whole lot about her. Related, Clare Niederpruem (Zombie Hunter, Nocturne, and Thirst) was sort of fun – at least, I liked her Velma scene – but she doesn’t make a huge impression. Luke Drake (who sort of rocks a Cillian Murphy vibe) shines at times, though, which is something.

None of the kills, even toward the finale, are all that interesting, and like I said, the killer, or more particularly, the design of the killer, is rather unremarkable. I don’t know if the flawed finale makes up for any of these shortcomings, but I can say that I personally rather enjoyed what the movie tried to do. It may not have succeeded – at this time, The Maze sports a 3.8/10 on IMDb with 1,068 votes – but I definitely appreciated what they were going for.

It’s because of that that I can’t really say I disliked the film. I don’t think it’s particularly good, and I can’t say that the movie overcomes it’s flaws altogether, but I can see myself both recommending it and personally watching it again in the future due to the almost clever direction the movie takes.

I’d never go as far as to say The Maze is required watching, though, even for a fan of slasher movies, but I think I probably see the film as around average, which is definitely more than what most people apparently take away from the movie.

7/10

Hard Ride to Hell (2010)

Directed by Penelope Buitenhuis [Other horror films: Killer Bees (2002)]

This is another of those movies that I’ve seen before, but it’s been a pretty long time. I believe I caught Hard Ride to Hell on IFC about ten years ago, and while I didn’t like it, I didn’t hate it. Seeing it again, I can sort of understand that feeling, because as much as I like portions of the film, overall, I can’t say it’s a movie I’d want to see too often.

Shaky is a good way to describe the story – elements are reminiscent of popular films from the 70’s, such as Race with the Devil, as the movie deals with a Satanic motorcycle gang, the leader of whom was cast out of Aleister Crowley’s inner circle for his depraved practices. I didn’t hate the story, until we got to the final thirty minutes or so, when another element was thrown in that I just didn’t care for whatsoever.

To the movie’s credit, there are a few pretty solid performances. Among them is Brent Stait (who had Robert Patrick swagger). I don’t know Stait (who appeared briefly in Final Destination 5), but his character here is fantastically bad-ass, and he reminded me of Henry Rollins’ character from Wrong Turn 2, which is a compliment, believe me. Also appearing was Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Freddy vs. Jason, American Mary, and 13 Eerie), who I entirely forgot was in the film. Isabelle’s performance is quite amusing at times, and has a good quote or two (“I don’t know, maybe the demon people-eating biker monsters can’t go in a church!”), so I dug it.

Other performances aren’t as strong. To be fair, Miguel Ferrer (The Night Flier, The Stand, Sightings: Heartland Ghost, and DeepStar Six) wasn’t bad, but I just didn’t get a great feel for his character. He was nice to see, regardless. Brandon Jay McLaren (Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon) also had some strong moments. Laura Mennell, though, felt weak at times, as did both Sebastian Gacki and Brendan Penny. Luckily, Stait, and Isabelle are more than enough to make up for their mild shortcomings.

Another element Hard Ride to Hell brings with a vengeance is the gore. It’s not over-the-top or anything, but there are plenty of violent portions. A man gets his arm cut off (and cauterized shortly thereafter), someone gets their face drug across a highway, another is forced to walk through glass. Toward the end, there’s some chainsaw action, and someone gets both of their hands cut off, which was also fun. Also, there’s a lot of knife action, mainly coming from Stait’s character, so the movie isn’t afraid to give us a little something something.

That’s not enough to make the movie good, though. Honestly, I enjoyed it a bit more than I was expecting, especially after an opening which I found rather weak (it’s about six minutes of characters speaking in Spanish, all without subtitles), but the finale was generally not great. In fact, without the gore and a few good performances, the movie wouldn’t really be worth it. I can’t say Hard Ride to Hell is worth it even with those elements, but they do make the film a lot more palatable.

I didn’t hate Hard Ride to Hell, and given the rather low rating it boasts on IMDb at the moment (3.8/10 with 1,140 votes, as of 11/29/2021), that’s an accomplishment in itself. It’s not a movie that I think I’d gravitate toward too often, but I’d be lying if I didn’t think some characters and gore made it almost worthwhile. I just wish the story had gone a better direction.

6.5/10

Kuronezumi (2010)

Directed by Kenta Fukasaku [Other horror films: Batoru rowaiaru II: Chinkonka (2003), XX (ekusu kurosu): makyô densetsu (2007)]

I believe this is either the third or fourth time I’ve seen this Japanese film, and I still find it a pretty enjoyable ride. Known as Black Rat (if it’s known at all – even though I first saw this in 2013, it still seems like a somewhat obscure film), this is an emotionally-packed film with a few things going against it, but ultimately ends up quite memorable.

Ever since I first saw this one in 2013 (and if you’re wondering why I’m sure about that date, it’s due to the fact I left a comment on the Horror Movie a Day blog’s entry), it felt like a special movie. I didn’t fully know why at the time – I just knew it was a solid emotional ride, and I enjoyed it immensely, and that’s still true, but there’s more to it.

This was directed by Kenta Fukasaku, the son of Kinji Fukasaku, the individual who directed Battle Royale. Kenta finished directing the second Battle Royale after his father died of cancer, and more importantly, wrote the screenplay for the 2000 classic. I bring this up because there are pieces of humor within Black Rat that remind me strongly of Battle Royale, and if you know how much a fan I am of Battle Royale, you’ll know that such a resemblance bodes well.

Plot-wise, the movie is simple. Six friends (Ryota, Kanako, Takashi, Kengo, Misato, and Saki) get a text from Asuka, a friend of theirs who committed suicide a month and a half previously. The text tells them to come to a classroom at midnight, and when they do, a killer in a rat mask takes them #down.

None of that is particularly impressive or noteworthy, to be sure, but what pulls the movie together, and gives it a hell of a lot of feeling, are the flashbacks scattered throughout the film, giving a deeper look at all of the friends, their relationships with Asuka, and how they hurt her in various, and sometimes unintentional, ways. It’s a Japanese slasher, which is rare enough, but it’s also a very strong film about friendship and how bonds can fall apart, sometimes in tragic ways.

Unfortunately, the film isn’t well-documented on IMDb. Eight cast-members are listed, but only four are credited, being Rina Saito (Asuka), Misaki Yonemura (Misato), Makoto Sakamoto (Takashi), and Hiroya Matsumoto (Ryota), leaving four cast-members without a credit, being: Haruka Shimizu, Mika Shimizu, Shôta Miyazaki, and Rihoko Shimomiya.

Here’s what I know – three of the uncredited individuals are women, leaving the sole male, Shôta Miyazaki, as the one who played Kengo. As for the other three (and if you’re wondering where the eighth cast-member comes from, it’s a sister of one of the characters), I don’t know who played who (Kanako, Saki, and the sister are the only options), which is a damn shame, as I can’t properly give credit to Kanako’s actress, who I rather liked.

Really, the only issue I had with any of the performances would be Makoto Sakamoto, who played a rather timid and cowardly character, almost to the level of parody. He just didn’t seem like a real person, and that sort of hurt.

And to be fair, it’s not the only problem with the film. Some of the special effects (such as an electrocution and an explosion) were a bit shaky, and there were some choices made toward the latter half of the film that felt quite questionable. Also, I’m not the biggest fan of the last scene.

Even so, there’s a lot going in Black Rat’s favor. Among them would be the shorter runtime, as the movie clocks it at around 76 minutes. It doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, and it still manages to use quality emotional flashbacks to great effect throughout the film, and I think it was done fantastically.

Also, some of the kills early on, or more specifically, the set-up to the kills, are great. You know how I mentioned the humor reminding me a bit of Battle Royale’s? It’s during these scenes where that comes up. The killer gives a character a chance to block a soccer goal – if the character can save the goal, they won’t be killed (or so the killer insists). Well, of course the block isn’t made, and the killer does a cute little dance before they take a baseball bat to the unathletic fellow.

My favorite scene, though, is the killer giving someone a chance to get 100 points on a karaoke song – if they can get the required points on the song, they’re free to go. Of course, they flub the song (being tied down and cut with a boxcutter can put a damper on my singing also), but during the performance, the killer is waving their arms along to the song (again, because this movie isn’t documented well, I don’t know the song, but it’s damn catchy, and the chorus, which goes “Everybody, let’s live for love” is fun).

Neither of these scenes are explicitly comedic, and given the scenario, no one was laughing, but they were both fun, especially the karaoke sequence, and more than that, quite unique.

Asia has largely never been big on slashers, especially since the surge of both Japanese and Korean movies beginning in the late 1990’s. Hong Kong had Dream Home in 2010, and South Korea gave us To Sir, With Love (also known as Bloody Reunion) in 2006, but for the most part, there’s a dearth of modern-day Asian slashers. Black Rat is one of the few Japanese slashers I’ve seen, and for that fact alone, it’s unique, but add on the other stuff I liked about it, and it’s big news.

I get the sense I enjoy Black Rat a lot more than most people. It’s an obscure movie, sure, but many of the reviews I have read on the film (including the one linked above by Horror Movie a Day) have been mediocre, and the film has only a straight 5/10 on IDMb (EDIT: or did when I wrote this on October 21st, 2021, as it now has a 4.7/10). I guess it just hit the right spots for me when I first saw it back in 2013, and seeing it with fresh eyes, it largely still does.

8.5/10

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Directed by Samuel Bayer [Other horror films: N/A]

Unlike some out there, I don’t hate this remake. I don’t think it’s a good movie, but I don’t hate it. What I feel is far more akin to disappointment, because while this rendition of A Nightmare on Elm Street wasn’t good, I will say that it really had potential.

To fully delve into this, I need to get into some spoilers. That’s something I try to avoid, because I like my reviews to be approachable even if the reader hasn’t seen the movie, but in this case, I have got to talk in detail about portions of this film, and so there will be spoilers in this review, starting with this next paragraph.

This film deals with teenagers who discover they have repressed memories about a preschool and a man named Freddy. Their parents refuse to tell them about it – when pressed, Nancy’s mother tells her that the kids said Freddy had abused them, and Freddy left town. During a dream sequence of Quentin’s, we see instead that the parents find Freddy on the outskirts of town, and angry that he may have abused their children, they burn his hiding place to the ground with him in it.

After Quentin sees this, it leads to what I find the most promising part of the film, in which Quentin and Nancy confront Quentin’s father about Freddy’s death. Nancy and Quentin wisely say that they were five at the time, and could have said anything – that there was no evidence Freddy was guilty, as the “secret cave” the kids mentioned was never even located, and that Freddy is seeking revenge on the kids who falsely accused him, which hurts all the more because Freddy loved the kids while he was a handyman at the preschool.

And you know what? If the film had continued to go this route, that would have been fantastic. Throughout the whole Freddy Kruger mythos, I don’t believe we’ve seen an innocent Freddy, and in this remake, they could have indeed made Freddy an innocent man who was killed due to false accusations of child abuse. The repressed memories of Quentin, Nancy, and company could have been Nancy, at five years old, deciding to play a joke and get her friends to accuse Freddy of things he didn’t do, and the finale could be her confronting her guilt, and an emotional scene of her apologizing to the innocent Freddy of her complicity in the events.

As you can probably tell, what with my hypotheticals, that didn’t happen. Upon exploring the old preschool, Nancy and Quentin come upon the aforementioned “secret cave,” and find photographic evidence that, indeed, Freddy Kruger was guilty. And everything that follows is just generic Nightmare on Elm Street stuff that you could get with a more classic feeling from almost any other film in the original series.

I think they blew a large opportunity to change the whole idea of Freddy, but instead of taking that leap, which might have been controversial, but would have been ballsy, they just keep with the “Oh, he’s just naturally evil, brahs,” stuff. I think this was a mistake, and instead of being an interesting movie, the finale of this remake is just generic and of about zero interest. Oh, and to make things better, they throw in a final scene that’s fucking awful. Even the ending of the original movie is better, and it’s not even close.

Perhaps it’s just me, but this pisses me off, because I really thought this film could have been something different. When I first saw this, I was really engaged in the story – was Freddy actually innocent? I thought it could have been so cool if they flipped the script. But they didn’t. And what was an okay movie (not great, but okay) just fell apart completely in the last twenty minutes, and I found it quite insulting, and again, a lost opportunity.

Rooney Mara (The Social Network) did pretty decent as Nancy, and Kyle Gallner (The Haunting in Connecticut) was good in the stoner-esque role. I thought the two worked well together as they were trying to figure out what their memories meant. Neither of the other teens, be it Katie Cassidy (Black Christmas, Wolves at the Door, and When a Stranger Calls) or Thomas Dekker, did much for me. Clancy Brown (The Shawshank Redemption and Pet Sematary II) was nice to see, but aside from one strong scene, he didn’t really add much.

When it comes to Freddy Kruger, I don’t think Jackie Earle Haley did terribly. I mean, let’s be honest – anyone who wasn’t Robert Englund would have a very difficult time getting praise. I don’t personally care for Freddy’s look here, but I also understand it’s more realistic as far as burn victims go, so that’s fine. More troublesome for me, though, is Freddy’s voice, which just grates. I could do without the one-liners (“I haven’t even cut you yet”), but what really takes me away is the voice. Honestly, maybe it would have been cooler if he didn’t talk, and was just a threatening figure slowly leading these kids to realize what a mistake they made in accusing him of a false crime.

Oh, wait. I’m sorry. I forget the movie wasn’t trying to be different, and so I momentarily forgot how cliché it was. My apologies.

The CGI was hideous most of the time. It’s funny that the scene in which Freddy is pushing himself out of the wall above the bed is done so much better in 1984, as well as the Tina-equivalent death scene. I did like the pool scene – when Quentin comes up from the pool and sees the flashback of Freddy’s origin take place – but otherwise, there’s nothing here that’s all that unique.

More than anything, I believe with all my heart that A Nightmare on Elm Street could have been a worthwhile remake if they had just changed the story up a little, and instead of making a generic horror movie, had gone with a more emotionally poignant ending about facing the consequences of your mistakes (the mistake being falsely accusing Kruger). Instead, you get a subpar movie that has it’s moments, and it has it’s potential, but is largely a waste of time.

5.5/10

If a Tree Falls (2010)

Directed by Gabriel Carrer [Other horror films: Desperate Souls (2005), Kill (2011), The Demolisher (2015), Death on Scenic Drive (2017), For the Sake of Vicious (2020)]

This is one of the films I watched during an October challenge, and I think it was the year I watched 275 movies in a single month, mainly because I didn’t remember any of this, and I do mean any of it. It felt like a completely new movie, but I have seen it before, so I was hoping for a more memorable occasion this time around.

And I think it will be more memorable, but not in any good way.

Ponderously and pathetically bare-bones, If a Tree Falls is almost entirely void of anything worth seeing. The plot is simple, the only mildly interesting thing about it being characters that were brother and sister, and most of the film deals with people running from other people.

The killers (there were something like six of them for some goddamn reason) were like ultra-cheap rip-offs from The Strangers. Their reasoning, though, is even worse, as a character explains “We find the ones who will never be found.” That’s why they killed three of the four characters and kept the other one alive – because killing is finding and ones that are not found are alive people or something.

Yeah, it makes zero sense, I know.

Aside from the fact that this film was painfully repetitive, it also suffered from somewhat lousy audio, with the music going above the voices multiple times. It didn’t matter, really, as no one in the film was capable of having a conversation worth hearing, but mix that with some shoddy camera-work, and you have what the kids call “shit.”

This may be worth mentioning. When I saw this film years ago, I watched a version that was around 77 minutes, but this time around, I watched what IMDb labels as “the 10th anniversary edition” which runs 89 minutes. I have no idea what was added or changed, and I sort of wonder if I’d have liked the shorter version more, but there you go.

Ry Barrett, Breanne TeBoekhorst, Jennifer De Lucia, and Daniel Zuccala are generally not great. I don’t blame any of them, though, as even if they were the most stellar performances in the history of cinema, the movie would still be God-awful.

And it was indeed God-awful. I did like the exploitation vibe that If a Tree Falls occasionally attempted to give off, but that doesn’t excuse the utter lack of story or meaningful antagonists or the atrociously terrible conclusion. I mean, there were sometimes okay special effects, but when the final product has this much wrong with it, it really doesn’t matter.

I don’t know what happens if a tree falls, and this movie didn’t let me in on the secret (I’m guessing it’s one of those pseudo-intellectual titles that might have some relevance to the movie in a roundabout way). It also wasn’t entertaining, and I hated it. I’ll give it points for being filmed in Canada and having some attractive women in it. Elsewise, there’s virtually nothing going for this.

3/10

This is one of the films covered by Fight Evil’s podcast. Listen below to the disappointment of Chucky (@ChuckyFE) and I as we discuss If a Tree Falls.