Island of Lost Souls (1932)

Island

Directed by Erle C. Kenton [Other horror films: The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), House of Frankenstein (1944), House of Dracula (1945), The Cat Creeps (1946)]

This is one of those classics that I enjoy, but don’t absolutely love. I’d say, though, if you’re a fan of 30’s horror, then this is one that you should definitely give a go, as it certainly hovers around average, if not a bit better.

Based off a novel by H.G. Wells, the story here is pretty interesting, and the film has some ominous undertones due to it. The setting, a house in the middle of a jungle, on an uncharted island, was suitably insular, and it had a pretty creepy vibe to it. The ‘natives’ and their restlessness, too, enhanced the film’s tension, boiling over at the end in a fantastic finale.

It’s a great cast all-around. Charles Laughton does amazing as the smooth-talking, suave mad scientist. Absolutely loved his performance here. Richard Arlen was your generic 30’s protagonist, but got along just fine. Leila Hyams (also in the classic Freaks from the same year), Kathleen Burke (also in Murders in the Zoo from 1933), and Arthur Hohl were all good additions also. Lastly, Bela Lugosi, though it’s a bit hard to tell it’s him, does pretty good also, as you can imagine.

This movie is darker than you might expect from the 30’s, and the ending is downright brutal, which only makes it better. That said, I don’t love the movie – it’s a good way to spend some time, and it certainly is a classic of the genre, but there are plenty of other early 30’s horror films I’d rather watch. Still, it’s certainly worth at least one watch, and having seen it twice or three times now, it’s still easy to attain enjoyment from it.

7.5/10

Backwoods (1987)

Backwoods

Directed by Dean Crow [Other horror films: Father’s Day (1988)]

Filmed in Indiana (though not my birthplace, I’ve lived here most of my life), I was rather interested in seeing if this film could live up to other “city folk in the forests” type films, such as Hunter’s Blood or Moonstalker. Alas, while it has it’s positives, Backwoods doesn’t quite hit those high notes I was looking for.

The cast of this one is small – only four important characters, and two who are sort of just there at times (the fate of one of them, we never do find out). There’s nothing wrong with that on the surface, but when the first forty minutes or so focus mainly on three characters with little horror and only occasional tension, it doesn’t make for that enthralling a film.

What doesn’t really help matters is the fact that this isn’t really a slasher, which, I have to admit, were my expectations going in. The antagonist, a mentally-challenged guy named William, mainly made to strangle his victim, or grab their hair, or other stuff that didn’t involve slashing. Because of that, there’s wasn’t much in the way of a body count (given the small cast, that probably isn’t shocking) or gore. We do get a pretty solid finale, and there’s a painful-looking fishhook net, but that comes a bit late, and it’s too little, to really fix the lack of blood.

For much of the film, it plays itself more as a drama, especially when William’s father, somewhat animated (and, at the same time, taciturn) is mournfully explaining the woes his family has faced. There’s even some sad-ish music in the background. It helps build up toward the end a bit, but I don’t think I can fully forgive the light horror that the first hour of this film possesses, no matter how solid the ending was.

Dick Kreusser, who played the father of William, was probably the best out of the cast. He did a decent job showing emotion while playing a ‘man’s man’-type of guy. The two main characters, though, weren’t quite on the same level: Christine Noonan was nice to look at, but her character made some rather foolish errors, and Brad Armacost, who seems to be the only cast member of this film who is still acting, came off as an arrogant Yankee most of the time.

It’s the heavy drama, though, and the sluggish pace, not the acting, that makes this film a chore to sit through. Like I said, it does pick up at the end, and the fishhook net is pretty dangerous-looking, but it’s a case of ‘too little, too late.’ It’s a shame, as an 80’s backwoods horror film from Indiana sounds like it’d be my kind of movie. Backwoods just couldn’t make it, though.

5.5/10

Grave Halloween (2013)

Grave Halloween

Directed by Steven R. Monroe [Other horror films: House of 9 (2005), It Waits (2005), Sasquatch Mountain (2006), Left in Darkness (2006), Ogre (2008), Wyvern (2009), I Spit on Your Grave (2010), Mongolian Death Worm (2010), I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013), The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015), Harland Manor (2021), Unborn (2022), Teardrop (2022)]

I will try to keep this brief, because the longer I dwell on this piece of crap, the more I just want to rate it a 0/10 and get it done with.

What few things does this made-for-TV Syfy movie get right? The forest is a nice setting. Occasionally there’s some decent gore (an okay dismemberment, a good leg-snapping, and a solid impalement). The story had potential. The plot twist, while somewhat pointless, was fine.

Nothing else was.

In typical bad-movie fashion, this was a bad movie. I totally didn’t expect the creepy old man these characters meet early on is actually a ghost. Oh wait, I did. I totally didn’t expect the ending where things look like they’ll be okay, but then the one surviving character finds out ‘IT’S NOT OVER‘. Oh wait, I did.

I don’t mind a few overused tropes now and again, but this movie was just full of dull, uninspired scenes. There was very little original about this film, which might be okay if they had a competent director or a story that had more suspense and less pointless jump scares.

Some occasionally good gore aside, though, I don’t see what value this movie possesses. None of the actors or actresses were necessarily terrible, but no one wowed me either. If you want a bad movie, you might want to check this out. If you want a movie where you basically know where it’s going from the beginning, Grave Halloween may be your flick. If you want a movie of value, though, I’d suggest looking elsewhere.

2/10

Plaga zombie (1997)

zplaga zp,noe

Directed by Pablo Parés [Other horror films: Nunca asistas a este tipo de fiestas (2000), Plaga zombie: Zona mutante (2001), Jennifer’s Shadow (2004), Nunca más asistas a este tipo de fiestas (2010), Plaga Zombie: Zona Mutante: Revolución Tóxica (2011), Soy tóxico (2018), Plaga Zombie: American Invasion (2021), Emesis (2021)] & Hernán Sáez [Other horror films: Nunca asistas a este tipo de fiestas (2000), Plaga zombie: Zona mutante (2001), Nunca más asistas a este tipo de fiestas (2010), Plaga Zombie: Zona Mutante: Revolución Tóxica (2011), Plaga Zombie: American Invasion (2021)]

From Argentina, Plaga zombie is a gory film, which is about all it really has to boast about. It’s a low-budget movie, with not much of a plot, and unfortunately, too much comedy to leave that positive an impression on me.

Despite their heavy budgetary limitations, the individuals behind this film got the gore right. It’s a massacre, with dismemberments, decapitations, tongues getting cut off, and a whole slew of bloody and gory situations. The problem is, that’s really all this movie has.

Throughout most of the film, we have our main characters fighting zombies. And fighting zombies. There’s a sequence near the beginning which was a bit slower, but for the most part, it’s an all-out brawl with the undead, which wouldn’t be that bad in a short, but for a movie that’s seventy minutes long (which is luckily at least shorter than the average 90 minutes), it just felt like it was dragging and dragging.

What didn’t help was the heavy comedic influence – I’m not against comedy mixed with my horror, but when it gets too silly or ridiculous, I check out, and it didn’t take long whatsoever for that to happen here.

Hard work went into making this, and it’s an impressive film for what they had to work with. I’m certainly not giving this one a lower rating because of the budget. The problem is that Plaga zombie is just so damn repetitive (which could be said for many zombie movies, in all fairness), and while it might have made a fine and enjoyable short, for a whole movie, I didn’t think it worked that well.

This Argentina flick has the gore, no doubt, and a lot of heart, but overall, it’s not something I’d want to see again (and it doesn’t make me too excited for the sequels either).

4/10

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Midnight Meat

Directed by Ryûhei Kitamura [Other horror films: Down to Hell (1997), Versus (2000), Alive (2002), Aragami (2003), Gojira: Fainaru uôzu (2004), No One Lives (2012), Downrange (2017), Nightmare Cinema (2018, segment ‘Mashit’), The Price We Pay (2022)]

It’s been quite some time since I’ve last seen this, probably somewhere around five or six years. From what I recall, I liked it, and upon seeing it again, I think it, by-and-large, holds up.

Based off a short story written by Clive Barker, the plot is decently interesting and captivating. Bradley Cooper made for a solid main character, and both Vinnie Jones and Roger Bart (who I recognized, after a few scenes, from Hostel: Part II), not to mention Leslie Bibb, made good secondary characters. The lore behind the going-ons was interesting also, though I hear that the original story went a little more in depth.

The special effects were mostly solid, and the heavy gore welcome. Some really brutal killings where in this film, and they were quite enjoyable. The epic fight at the end, too, was pretty fun. But it’s in this realm where my main issues with the movie come from, being the use of CGI more than a few times. Some of the killings just looked rather blah due to the CGI use, and while it’s always nice to see more gore, when it’s tainted with CGI, it sticks out pretty noticeably.

Other than that, though, I think the movie’s pretty good. The ending is generally pretty fun, and while at times I do think the pacing could have been tightened up, The Midnight Meat Train is a more-modern film that I think many horror fans would get a kick out of.

8/10

Things (1989)

Things

Directed by Andrew Jordan [Other horror films: N/A]

I have never in my life seen such an inept mess.

Really, I’m not entirely sure what to say about this one. The story, such as it was, seems incomplete. And in fact, so does the movie as a whole. Amber Lynn (who is best known for various roles in adult movies) literally just reads her dialogue off cue cards as a newscaster, adding literally nothing to the movie. Some of the dialogue is dubbed after the fact, which is painfully obvious. The lighting, the dialogue, the everything, it’s a mess.

The one thing this Canadian flick sort of gets right is the gore. Oh, most of the time, it was the blood of insect things (origins never really explained), but there was a scene of a guy being tortured (that had zero relevance to the plot, I’ll add) that was decent, and a guy lost some fingers. The gore wasn’t necessarily amazing, partially because the camera-work was so shoddy, but it still stood out in what otherwise was an atrocity of a film.

Honestly, though, this movie possesses some charm to it – the gore is, as I said, moderately solid, and while everything else fails (from the post-sync dubbing, to the lighting, acting, story, and any other element you could think to name), sitting back with some friends and watching this movie play out would be a hoot. Watching it alone? It might change you, but not really for the better.

Things is pretty much an inept, illogical mess. Some scenes don’t make any sense, there’s no context to some of the story, and everything seems pretty disjointed (at times, this felt sort of like The Suckling, but most of the time, Things defies comparison), which the post-dubbing doesn’t help with at all. Can Things be enjoyable in the right situation? Sure. But is it a film that I’m clamoring to see again? Oh God, no.

That said, anyone interested should definitely watch this, as a review can’t possibly do this bizarre film justice.

4/10

Mais ne nous délivrez pas du mal (1971)

deliver

Directed by Joël Séria [Other horror films: N/A]

What makes a slow-burn movie good? It’s upon examination of this question that will lead to whether you will like or dislike this film. Known in the USA as Don’t Deliver Us from Evil, this French film is an interesting one, and as alluded to, quite the slow-burn. But does the ending pay off?

The plot of the film is simple, in that two Catholic girls decide they want to push the limits and sin (welcome to the consequences of religious oppression). For the first hour and twenty minutes, there’s very few horror elements – it’s just the two girls going around doing ‘bad’ things of varying degrees (poisoning canaries, setting bales of hay on fire, teasing men with sexual come-ons), and it feels somewhat aimless, in many ways.

Eventually, when something more in the realm of the genre happens, things pick up a bit, but that’s in the final twenty minutes of the film. Now, what doesn’t make this a complete loss is the fact that the two main actresses Jeanne Goupil and Catherine Wagener were amazing in their roles. They were both very convincing, both as innocent Catholic schoolgirls, and then as randy, sensual young women wanting to explore the more lustful side of life (on a side-note, for a good majority of this movie, it seems like a coming-of-age story).

Honestly, for a French film, this was pretty tame. Despite plenty of scenes of the two young women in their underwear, never once is lesbianism encroached upon (I’ll be honest, I was expecting something like that from the very beginning), and while there’s occasionally nudity, it’s pretty brief. And the two attempted rape scenes are both more on the mild side, at least compared to other such scenes of the same time period.

Instead, they attempted to build up to the end, which somewhat worked, but a somewhat shocking final minute of the film doesn’t really excuse an hour and forty minutes of very little happening beforehand. Still, Don’t Deliver Us from Evil occasionally had a chilly vibe, helped along by a very haunting soundtrack that popped up multiple times throughout the film.

A classic of sorts, with pretty high ratings from various sources, this movie didn’t entirely do it for me. Fantastic acting aside, it was just way too slow, despite occasionally showing us some interesting scenes. No doubt I was pretty engaged during the whole of the film, but I was hoping for something more than the great ending they had. If you’re a practicing Catholic, though, this film will probably be a lot more effective.

5.5/10

Demon Warrior (1988)

Demon Warrior

Directed by Frank Patterson [Other horror films: N/A]

This will be a bit shorter than other reviews I’ve written, because I can’t think of that much to say about this somewhat obscure flick.

Filmed in Texas, this late 80’s movie is pretty cheesy, with a demon in the guise of a Native American going around killing a group of friends who came out to some cursed land for hunting. The kills themselves are moderately fun, if a bit astylistic, such as some individuals getting shot with arrows, an okay scalping, and a pretty decent car crash (especially for a movie of this low-budget nature).

The problem is that there’s far more drama among the group of friends than there is action, or even anything mildly interesting. I was somewhat taken in some of the friend’s ongoing problems, but at the same time, boy, was it a grind to get through. There was a bit of nudity at the beginning, which was welcomed, but for much of the film, it’s just not that engaging.

Actors and actresses throughout did about as well as you might expect. There weren’t any truly awful performances, at least, but the main characters, played by Wiley M. Pickett and Leslie Mullin, weren’t dripping with amazing ability either. John Garrett’s character had some funny lines now and again, but nothing to praise that much.

I’ve wanted to see this one for some time now, and I’m not exactly surprised by the fact it’s not great. Late 80’s horror can be quite a bit hit-or-miss. Still, Demon Warrior may not be a bad watch if you’re a fan of 80’s cheese (and that ending was a good example of how much cheese this movie has). I caught a VHS rip of the film, which allowed a very retro feeling to it. I sort of doubt this hit DVD, so it’s one you might want to look out for. That said, I wouldn’t expect a classic if you do give it a shot.

6/10

Death Machine (1994)

Death Machine

Directed by Stephen Norrington [Other horror films: Blade (1998)]

Generally speaking, Death Machine is both a well-made and moderately fun movie. My main question is, did it really need to be two hours long?

The story was good, the gore, when it popped up, was solid also. However, since the movie goes more an action route than it does horror, there’s not as many gory scenes as I would have liked to see, especially considering how dangerous and sharp Dourif’s Warbeast looks.

Brad Dourif was, of course, the stand-out here. His character was wacky, yet quite deadly and amoral, and I have to admit, his portrayal here reminds me a lot of Heath Ledger’s Joker. Dourif was just fun in every scene he was in, and his voice was always a pleasure to hear. The two others who really stood out to me were the main actress Ely Pouget and William Hootkins. Pouget does a solid job as the lead character, and Hootkins, though he didn’t have that much screen-time, had a good presence.

There were aspects of this film that didn’t do much for me. The battle suit was a bit too science-fiction for me, and I could have done without all of the fighting sequences. In a related note, this movie runs for just over two hours, and I really think that was ill-conceived. The movie can be fun, but at two hours a pop, who would take the time to rewatch it? I know I probably wouldn’t.

Death Machine is a decently solid piece of 90’s cinema, despite it being more an action science-fiction flick than a horror (make no mistake, though, there are many horror aspects within). But the length strikes me as rather uncalled for (the movie never feels as epic, for lack of a better word, as the length might lead you to believe), and there were a bit too many fight scenes. As it is, it’s a fine movie, just nothing overly special, despite Dourif’s strong personality.

7/10

2019 – Dopo la caduta di New York (1983)

2019

Directed by Sergio Martino [Other horror films: Lo strano vizio della signora Wardh (1971), La cado dello scorpione (1971), Tutti i colori del buio (1972), Il tuo vizio è una stanza chiusa e solo io ne ho la chiave (1972), I corpi presentano tracce di violenza carnale (1973), Morte sospetta di una minorenne (1975), La montagna del dio cannibale (1978), L’isola degli uomini pesce (1979), Il fiume del grande caimano (1979), Assassinio al cimitero etrusco (1982), American risciò (1989), La regina degli uomini pesce (1995), Mozart è un assassino (1999)]

I’ve never seen either Mad Max or Escape from New York (non-horror films are not really my thing, generally speaking), but I have to imagine this Italian movie, known in the US as 2019: After the Fall of New, is quite a bit like those films. A fantastic action/science fiction/horror medley, this film is a lot of fun, and comes highly recommended.

Post-apocalyptic movies can sometimes not quite work out, but this one does, due to multiple factors, being the fun cast of characters, the soundtrack, the heavy gore, and just general fun of the action. Primarily, if you’re looking for an action-filled flick, this is it. Plenty of brawl sequences, some gun play, interesting weapons, and further helping this along is the strong gore throughout the film. Two of my favorite instances being a rather brutal eye-gouging and a multiple-person decapitation – those aside, other sequences of splatter can be found, and the special effects are decent enough to back up the ambitious gore.

A small note on the soundtrack – it’s filled with a bunch of fun Italian electronic tracks. It’s a funky soundtrack, and certainly added a little something special to the film.

Michael Sopkiw does pretty damn good as the main character, and he has a fun presence also. The same can be said for most of the cast, but in particular, Valentine Monnier, Romano Puppo, Louis Ecclesia, and George Eastman, brought most of the fun to the film. I do wish that there had been more scenes of the three central characters (Sopkiw, Puppo, and a Paolo Maria Scalondro) in what was left of New York, but what we got was still action-packed amusement.

Brought to us by well-known director Sergio Martino (if I tried to list his better-known additions to the genre, this paragraph would be at least three lines longer, so lucky, they’re listed above), 2019: After the Fall of New York is a lot of fun, and if you’re a fan of post-apocalyptic films, gory Italian movies, or just having a good time, this is a movie I’d recommend looking into.

8.5/10