Category: 1980’s

Next of Kin (1982)

Directed by Tony Williams [Other horror films: N/A]

This Australian film is one that I’ve been vaguely aware about for many years now. I’ve heard that it’s a pretty solid movie, and many of the ratings I see online tend to back that up. I went in hoping for a good time, and I do generally think that I got one.

I was impressed by how nice the movie looked. This isn’t some gritty, outback movie – this had some production value behind it, and plenty of thought put into some camera shots and scenes. There were some visually striking potions here, and I can certainly understand how this one can get the label of ‘cult classic.’

The story’s pretty solid too, made all the better by the fact that it’s not quite clear where it’s going. A young woman (Jacki Kerin) inherits a retirement home following the death of her mother, and creepy things begin to happen. Whether these creepy things in question are of supernatural origin or not is part of the question, and the movie has a quality atmosphere and almost gothic feel to it at times to back the story up.

The finale is somewhat striking too – once we do figure out where this one’s going, we’re treated to a decently suspenseful finale, followed by a couple moments of quiet (in a very unexpected, yet subtly sorrowful, sequence), and then the action ramps up again. It was structured in a unique way, and part of me wondered if the film would just fade to black during that quiet sequence, before things unexpectedly picked up again.

Jacki Kerin hasn’t really been in much, which I find a shame, as I thought she did a great job here, even reminding me toward the end of Marilyn Burns in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. A young John Jarratt (Wolf Creek, Dark Age, Rogue) was nice to see also. Charles McCallum played a nice, older man, Alex Scott (The Asphyx) a potentially shifty doctor, and Gerda Nicolson did well as an older woman hiding a secret or two.

Some of the cinematography here really is stunning – during a dream sequence, it appears that a man is swimming outside a young woman’s window – and it reminded me a bit of what we later see in Razorback. Nothing here is that otherworldly, but it’s the same idea, and I was surprised by how nice, and how fresh, this movie ended up looking.

I don’t think the film is without flaws (though it’s fair to say that no big flaws seem to rear their heads), but I do think it’s very much a movie that’s worth seeing. If you want some foreign flavor, Next of Kin may be your type of film.

7.5/10

Tenement (1985)

Directed by Roberta Findlay [Other horror films: Take Me Naked (1966), Mnasidika (1969), Janie (1970), The Altar of Lust (1971), The Slaughter (1971), Angel Number 9 (1974), Snuff (1975), A Woman’s Torment (1977), Mystique (1979), The Oracle (1985), Lurkers (1987), Blood Sisters (1987), Prime Evil (1988), Banned (1989)]

Tenement is a film I’ve seen perhaps three times now, maybe even four. At first, I didn’t care for it – it was far too gritty and the antagonists far too disorganized for my liking – but after taking a few other chances with it, I have grown to respect what this movie was going for.

Also known under the titles Slaughter in the South Bronx and Game of Survival, and a hybrid of action/crime/horror, Tenement is very much a product of the 1980’s. Filmed in New York City (and taking place in the Bronx), this movie shows just how terrible urban decay can touch communities. It’s a dirty, gritty film, with a bit of a grindhouse feel to it, so it’s definitely not a movie for everyone.

It’s also quite violent, and in fact, was rated X by the MPAA solely for violence, which is generally uncommon. To hardened horror fans, there’s not much here that’s really shocking, but much of it is pretty decent, from throat slittings to electrocutions to injecting rat poison into one’s veins. There’s a lot of violence here, and it generally keeps up a good pace.

One of the things I had issues with, when I first saw this one, was the antagonists. It’s a group of seven gang members, and as they go after the tenets in the building, floor by floor, I feel they do it in such a disorganized way. That might sound silly – these seven people are likely all high on cocaine, angel dust, and God knows what else, so it makes sense they wouldn’t be aiming for efficacy – but it stood out to me when I first watched it, and I admit it bothered me.

To be fair, I first saw this when I was no older than 14, if I had to guess, and likely didn’t have much experience with gritty exploitation movies. Certainly after having seen my fair share of those, the fact that the antagonists here are a bunch of drugged-up lunatics doesn’t dissuade me quite as much.

We are sort of thrown into this movie, which has a decent amount of characters, with little in the way of introduction. Of the tenets, we have Sam Washington, Ruth Edelstein, Rojas, Carol, Poppo, Mr. and Mrs. Wesley, Anna, her three children (Anita, Charlie, and Maria), Mr. Gonzales, and Leona and her daughter, Jeanne. Some of these names are only said once, and the DVD copy I have doesn’t have captions, so it took a bit to figure out who was who, which could be annoying.

Related, the seven members of the gang are Chaco, Rudy, Chula, Hector, Sal, Monk, and Nines. I swear, they didn’t call Nines by name until the final 15 minutes, and we’re not really introduced to any of these people on an individual level, so it took a while to match up the names with the faces.

And I understand, when there’s this many characters in a movie, it’s hard to go into too much backstory. I personally kept hoping that they’d mention that Washington had been to Vietnam or something, just because he sort of felt the type, but we don’t really learn much about anyone aside from the surface of their lives. It makes sense, but it also feels a wee bit shallow.

Joe Lynn made for a solid lead. He’s not been in many things, and apparently died just a handful of years later in 1987, at the age of 40, but he did well here. Mina Bern was fun as a scrappy, older woman who wasn’t averse to beating gang members with a baseball bat. Walter Bryant had some good scenes toward the end, Larry Lara was annoying throughout, and Alfonso Manosalvas seemed a nice guy. Others playing tenets worth noting are Angel David, Corinne Chateau, and Rhetta Hughes, who I personally really liked, but she doesn’t last all that long.

Of the seven gang members – Enrique Sandino (Chaco), Dan Snow (Rudy), Karen Russell (Chula), Paul Calderon (Hector), Nick Iacovino (Sal), Joe Montefusco (Monk), and Manuel Cotto (Nines) – only three honestly stand out, being Sandino, Snow, and Russell. Sandino definitely had a striking and threatening aura, despite him having no real character. Karen Russell looked cool, I guess, and Dan Snow (The Toxic Avenger) had a tough feel to him, though that may not have entirely panned out.

I think that fans of 80’s exploitation – movies like Class of 1984, Ms. 45, Savage Streets, Naked Vengeance, and Siege (or Self Defense) – would have a pretty good time with Tenement. I don’t think it’s a great movie, but I do find it consistently entertaining, and there is some solid tension throughout the film, so it may be worth checking out.

7.5/10

Dark Tower (1987)

Directed by Freddie Francis [Other horror films: The Brain (1962), The Day of the Triffids (1963), Paranoiac (1963), Nightmare (1964), The Evil of Frankenstein (1964), Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors (1965), Hysteria (1965), The Skull (1965), The Psychopath (1966), The Deadly Bees (1966), They Came from Beyond Space (1967), Torture Garden (1967), Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968), Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly (1970), Trog (1970), Gebissen wird nur nachts – das Happening der Vampire (1971), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Creeping Flesh (1973), Son of Dracula (1973), Tales That Witness Madness (1973), Craze (1974), Legend of the Werewolf (1975), The Ghoul (1975), The Doctor and the Devils (1985)] & Ken Wiederhorn [Other horror films: Shock Waves (1977), Eyes of a Stranger (1981), Return of the Living Dead: Part II (1988)]

I’ve wanted to see Dark Tower for some time now. The idea of a haunted high-rise appeals to me, and I thought it might be an interesting idea to play around with. Sadly, though, I don’t think that Dark Tower is the best execution of this idea.

This is likely known by those involved with the movie, too. I’m not someone who delves into behind-the-scenes information, but I did notice that the original director of this one (Ken Wiederhorn) was replaced by well-known Freddie Francis. And yet, when the movie starts playing, we’re told it’s directed by Ken Barnett; apparently Francis wanted his name removed from the film because he was dissatisfied. I should also mention that he never again directed another movie.

It’s not all bad, though – Dark Tower was filmed in Barcelona, Spain, so anytime we see outside shots, we see some beautiful structures and buildings older than the hills. Despite being in English, the film does possess a foreign flavor throughout, which is nice. It doesn’t make the film altogether that much more interesting, but it’s nice all the same

And while many of the deaths here aren’t too memorable there’s always potential. Early on in the film, a window wiper falls from his scaffolding, perhaps pushed by a malevolent spirit. After being possessed by the same spirit, another takes part in a mass shooting, which was at least filmed well. On the other hand, there was a very weak elevator death – I’d personally stick with De lift or Damien: Omen II.

In the finale, we did see someone get electrocuted, and another get impaled. Well, technically, we didn’t see this individual get impaled, but even so. Unfortunately, though, the finale – or, if I’m being honest, the last twenty minutes – seemed a bit of a mess. Here’s just a small example – three characters go to the haunted building (Michael Moriarty, Kevin McCarthy, and Theodore Bikel), and for some forsaken reason, they split up. No reason was given – we see these three characters enter an elevator, and the next we see of them, they’re in completely different rooms (if not floors).

I liked the idea of this movie, but it definitely felt a bit choppy at times. I appreciated aspects of the finale, and while there’s not really a twist, we do learn more about Jenny Agutter’s character. I had thought that it might have gone in the direction it did, and I was happy that they did so. It didn’t really make the ending much better, but it was at least good in concept.

At first, I did think the movie would follow Jenny Agutter (The Survivor, Child’s Play 2, Dominique), but instead we largely followed Michael Moriarty (A Return to Salem’s Lot, Troll, Blood Link, The Stuff, Q). I was surprised, but okay, with this – it’s not that Agutter wasn’t decent, but Moriarty was more interesting to me (though at times, I have to say that his delivery wasn’t stellar).

I think that Theodore Bikel (I Bury the Living) is easily the most enjoyable performance in the film – despite the movie seeming somewhat lifeless, all of his scenes had character. Lastly, Kevin McCarthy (The Sleeping Car, Piranha, Invasion of the Body Snatchers) appeared, but we never really got a great hang on his character.

Dark Tower can be an okay movie to watch, but it’s definitely a far cry from good, and while aspects were at the very least interesting, I can’t say it’s a movie that will really stick out in my mind, at least not with the rather lack-luster execution managed with this movie. Just a shame, in my view.

5.5/10

Gremlins (1984)

Directed by Joe Dante [Other horror films: Piranha (1978), The Howling (1981), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983, segment ‘It’s a Good Life’), The ‘Burbs (1989), Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), Trapped Ashes (2006, segment ‘Wraparound’), The Hole (2009), Burying the Ex (2014), Nightmare Cinema (2018, segment ‘Mirari’)]

As with many people, Gremlins is a movie I first saw when I was a kid. I thought it was a great movie than, and very little of the magic has disappeared with the growing years.

There’s so many aspects of this film that are laudable. The small-town feel, the special effects, the characters, the music – there’s a lot here, so let’s #DigIn.

One thing that’s always captivated me about this film is the location of Kingston Falls. It feels like a 1950’s Norman Rockwell painting writ large, though the look and homey feel doesn’t varnish the reality that there are many poor and struggling people in the town. A woman and her children face prolonged hunger, people are out of work, and while everything looks great, there are problems here even before the gremlins decide to make the town and its citizens their bitch.

Still, the small town feel is great in this movie. It seems that everyone knows everyone. The main character, Billy, who’s long out of school, is still in contact with his old science teacher, which I’ve always found odd, and when Billy needs to take his mother for medical attention, they just walk down the street to where their family doctor lives. It’s a small town, and that vibe permeates throughout, which is great.

Naturally, the special effects are pretty good. Gizmo always looks cute (and actually, when I was young, I won a Gizmo doll at a carnival, and it was quite cuddly), the gremlins look moderately frightful, and throughout the film, there are some quality effects, such as the way the gremlins multiple by water. The lighting also plays a part in this – sometimes, the lighting is quite striking, and helps add to the effect.

I also love how at times, when it shows the whole of Kingston Falls, it’s a literal painting. That scene with the group of gremlins first walking into town from the YMCA was stellar. The final shot, with the man walking away with Gizmo, was beautiful. And God, the opening – what an atmospheric, beautiful opening on a busy, Chinatown street with narration by Hoyt Axton’s character. He also gets closing narration, and it’s just great (“before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds. Because you never can tell – there just might be a gremlin in your house.”)

Zach Galligan (Waxwork, Bad Candy, Nightbeasts, Psychic, Hatchet III) doesn’t always make the most engaging lead, but he’s fun enough. Obviously, Phoebe Cates can be overdramatic at times; still, it’s all in good fun. I absolutely adore Hoyt Axton (Buried Alive, King Cobra) – he seems like such a likable guy, and his narration, as I said, was on point. Despite limited scenes, Keye Luke (Dead Heat, The Cat Creature) was great, and playing Billy’s mother was Frances Lee McCain (Back to the Future), who killed four gremlins on her own, which was deff impressive.

Even the smaller characters are pretty good, though, and include some surprising faces. Judge Reinhold (Beverly Hills Cop, The Hollow) appeared only in two scenes, Jonathan Banks (Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad, Dark Breed) only a handful himself, and Corey Feldman (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Voodoo, The Lost Boys) in a few places. All add something, though. I’d be remiss to not include the great Dick Miller (Chopping Mall, A Bucket of Blood, Piranha, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight), who is always of good quality, and Jackie Joseph (The Little Shop of Horrors), who got just one sequence, but was a lot of fun.

Oh, and there’s also Glynn Turman (J.D.’s Revenge), Polly Holliday as the quotable Mrs. Deagle (“It will be quick and painless compared to what I would do to him,”), and then let’s not forget the most important character, Barney, who was played by Mushroom (also in Pumpkinhead).

As anyone who’s seen the movie can attest to, the music here is stellar. Not only am I talking about the theme music composed by Jerry Goldsmith (which is officially titled “The Gremlin Rag”), but there’s also “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love and Johnny Mathis’ rendition of “Do You Hear What I Hear?” which pops up in a memorable scene. The music in this film is on point, it’s on fleek, and it’s off the chain-hook dawgs.

I love Gremlins. Sure, I don’t think it’s perfect – not all the comedy works, Cates’ story about the death of her father feels sort of silly (“Now I have another reason to hate Christmas”), and we never see Judge Reinhold’s character torn into pieces – but I think it’s a very solid film, and a perfect onboarding tool to get younger audiences into horror.

8.5/10

The Woman in Black (1989)

Directed by Herbert Wise [Other horror films: N/A]

Many consider The Woman in Black among one of the better television horror films, certainly when it comes to those that aired in the late 1980’s. For it’s specific classic ghost story, period piece niche, I do think The Woman in Black is quite decent. However, I also have to admit that I suspect many modern-day audiences would find it a tad sluggish, and I don’t think that’s without good reason.

Based on a 1983 novel of the same name written by Susan Hill, the plot follows that of a very traditional ghost story – think The Uninvited, with some sprinklings of The Changeling. It’s not a story that possesses much in the way of surprise or anything – it’s just a mildly tragic ghost movie that reminded me at times of films like The Orphanage and Mr. Wrong.

It’s a rather methodical story, too. It’s not bogged down in details or anything, but the movie can be quite slow. There’s what seems to be a two-and-a-half minute scene of a man going around a large house, looking around the rooms, and turning lights on. It just feels quite sluggish at times, and while it can pick up nicely during some well-placed scares, and the finale itself is decently well paced, I do personally think the film could have been trimmed a bit.

Insofar as the scares are concerned, being a more classy ghost movie (not to mention made-for-television), The Woman in Black is more subtle, largely speaking. There’s maybe four scenes that I’d classify as meant to be scary, and only two actually got much of a reaction from me (and to qualify this, I should say that I’ve seen this movie once before, and had vague memory of it, but it’s been so long that much of it felt fresh).

There is a scene in a small cemetery that works quite nicely, though, along with perhaps the most famous sequence in the movie during the main character’s sickness toward the end. It’s a scene I knew was coming, but still came out very effectively. No doubt the movie, to many modern-day audiences, would feel beyond slow, but a case could be made that it’s that fact that makes the spooky scenes stand out all the more.

Oh, and the ending is rather grim, too. Nothing unexpected whatsoever, but grim nonetheless, and I can see why this frightened so many people when it first aired on that cold Christmas Eve so many years ago in the UK.

Adrian Rawlins (2000’s Blood) made for a likable, if moderately forgettable, lead. He was a pleasant-enough character, but I don’t know if there was necessarily a lot to him. Perhaps one of the other few important cast members was Bernard Hepton, who had some solid moments toward the latter half of the film, and John Cater (The Abominable Dr. Phibes) was decent too. Otherwise, though, the cast here didn’t really hold much a candle to the atmosphere.

Even with the atmosphere, though, the movie runs for about an hour and 42 minutes. I fully think some scenes are great, but to get to those scenes, there’s a lot of material that’s not exactly my idea of engaging. Because of that, it’s sort of a hard movie to tackle – I definitely appreciate what it was going for, and I largely think it succeeded, but it still just feels quite sluggish to me, and it’s a hard case for me to make to call this stellar.

All-in-all, I do think The Woman in Black is a good movie. I just can’t personally see myself watching it all that often, as it’s the type of slow-moving period piece that you’d definitely have to be in the mood for.

7/10

Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

Directed by J. Lee Thompson [Other horror films: Eye of the Devil (1966), The Reincarnation of Peter Proud (1975)]

Often considered a classic slasher of the early 80’s, Happy Birthday to Me was a movie I very much looked forward to seeing again. I’ve seen it once before, though it’s been quite a while, so I was eager to revisit it. Overall, I do think it’s a solid movie, but I can’t say I exactly love the finale.

Oh, parts of the finale are great – a character walks into a macabre scene of bodies and insanity, and it’s an appropriately-somber sequence – but we’re also given a twist that feels somewhat silly. Of course, most plot twists that involve a latex mask tend to feel that way, but there you go. It’s still a decent finale, memorable in it’s somber feel (even having a solid song, “Happy Birthday to Me” by Syreeta, playing us out), but that twist probably could have been executed differently.

It’s also worth mentioning that the movie is around an hour and 50 minutes. That in itself isn’t a bad thing, but I don’t really know if this movie earns the right to be that long. Sure, we theoretically have something like 12 characters to play around with, but many of them (Steve, Greg, Amelia, Rudi, and Maggie) don’t really get that much in the way of focus.

Honestly, that might be my personal pet peeve with this movie, keeping in mind I still enjoyed it. Virginia (Melissa Sue Anderson) is part of a high school clique named the Top Ten – the others being Maggie (Lenore Zann), Bernadette (Lesleh Donaldson), Etienne (Michel-René Labelle), Greg (Richard Rebiere), Rudi (David Eisner), Ann (Tracey E. Bregman), Amelia (Lisa Langlois), Steve (Matt Craven), and oddball Alfred (Jack Blum). I get that Anderson’s the main character, but very few of these others seemed to get any depth, and I found that odd, especially when this movie could have given some of them something.

As it is, Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie; Midnight Offerings) made for a decent lead, although I’d say she’s not exactly memorable. Playing her father was Lawrence Dane (Scanners, Behind the Wall, Rituals, Of Unknown Origin, The Clown Murders) had some moments toward the finale that stood out. I sort of thought Glenn Ford’s character would have a bit more to do, but he was decent also.

Of the Top Ten, I did like David Eisner (Phobia), Lisa Langlois (The Nest, Fire Serpent, Deadly Eyes), Matt Craven (Till Death Do Us Part, The Intruder Within), and Jack Blum, but like I said, none of them really got a lot in the way of character. Others, such as Lesleh Donaldson (Deadly Eyes, Funeral Home, Curtains) and Lenore Zann (Prettykill, Visiting Hours, the voice of Rogue in the 1990’s X-Men animated series) had potential. Tracey E. Bregman (of soap operas Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless, and The Bold and the Beautiful) could have tightened up a few scenes, but her performance is decent.

The gore here isn’t too heavy. Certainly there are a few scenes that stand out, such as someone getting skewered with a kebab, or someone getting weights dropped on their throat, or even a few slit throats, but there’s not that much in the way of blood here, which I think is okay. The movie is on the longer side, but I never felt it was lacking from gore, and overall, the special effects are solid.

There’s a psychological element to Happy Birthday to Me that I can’t say I love. The main character, due to a terrible accident some years past, lost some of her memories, and throughout the film, we get some flashes of images as she begins to remember what happened to her and her mother. I can’t exactly say why these elements didn’t do much for me, but it almost felt unnecessary, and the ludicrous nature of the finale didn’t help with this perception.

Overall, I do think that Happy Birthday to Me is a strong movie. I don’t think it’s amazing, but it’s pretty solid. The finale definitely could have been better, though, and if ever a plot twist needed some work, this one did. Still, the film has a good atmosphere and okay gore, along with decent characters (when they deign to focus on them), so though it’s not what I’d call fantastic, I do think it’s a perfectly solid slasher.

7.5/10

Alligator (1980)

Directed by Lewis Teague [Other horror films: Cujo (1983), Cat’s Eye (1985), The Triangle (2001)]

Honestly, I don’t have a lot to say about this one. I wasn’t really that impressed with Alligator when I first saw it, and while I can see some decent portions with this recent rewatch, it’s still not really my type of movie.

When it comes to giant monster movies, I’ve never been a big fan. Admittedly, given this movie is from the 1980’s, it does feel different than the movies from the late 50’s. Even so, the story sort of follows the exact same route – a guy has an experience with a giant alligator, and shortly afterward, the military, police, and everyone else is watching out for the creature while it causes havoc.

It’s not even the first killer alligator/crocodile movie – in 1979, we had both Thailand’s Chorakhe (Crocodile) and Italy’s Il fiume del grande caimano (The Great Alligator), and in 1978, the South Korean Agowa gongpo (Crocodile Fangs). Now, I’ve not seen any of these three, but I am sort of curious if they’re similar in story and idea to this movie, and I imagine all of them possess an interesting foreign flavor that obviously this one couldn’t compete with.

No doubt it’s nice to see Robert Forster as the lead. When I first saw this movie, I probably didn’t know who he was, but having seen Breaking Bad and El Camino, even this young, he has a familiar face (also in The Wolf of Snow Hollow, The Darker Side of Terror, and Satan’s Princess). Honestly, I didn’t love his character here, but he was a nice face to see. Robin Riker (Stepmonster) isn’t a name I know, but though I didn’t care for her romantic interest in Forster’s character, she did decent.

Honestly, those two are the only ones that really matter. Sure, Henry Silva (Thirst) appears for a bit, Dean Jagger (X the Unknown, Revolt of the Zombies, So Sad About Gloria) seems to be set up as a human antagonist, but it never really goes anywhere, and while Michael V. Gazzo (The Godfather Part II) appears throughout the film, we never get a good feel for him.

Some of the special effects look decent. It’s not a particularly gory movie or anything, but the titular alligator gets a few tasty bites in. I think my bigger issue is that it’s hard for me to watch this and not think of Lake Placid, which is a movie I find so much more enjoyable than this one, and actually, I think it’s fair to say that this feels more like a 70’s product than it does one of the 1980’s, given it’s somewhat dry feel.

I’ve only seen Alligator twice now, and both times, while I can’t say I’ve been let down, I can say that neither viewing has done much for me. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s not one that I really care for, at least for the time being.

6/10

Intruder (1989)

Directed by Scott Spiegel [Other horror films: From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999), Hostel: Part III (2011)]

I’ve seen Intruder once before, and remembered it being a pretty solid slasher for the late 1980’s. Seeing it again, it is indeed one of the best of the late 80’s, and Intruder really has a lot going for it.

It’s not perfect – the biggest issue is that with all the characters (Jennifer, Linda, Bill, Danny, Joe, Tim, Bub, Dave, Randy, and Craig), only a couple really get much in the way of personality. The average side characters of Friday the 13th had mildly more personality than most of the characters here. Luckily, the gore was good enough to sort of offset this, but it was noticeable.

Elizabeth Cox did decent as the lead character. I mean, she’s no Amy Steel or Heather Langenkamp, but she did well. David Byrnes (Witchcraft 7: Judgement Hour, Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh) is a good example of what I’m talking about – okay performance, but very little in the way of character until the finale. Eugene Robert Glazer and Dan Hicks (Elder Island, Evil Dead II) did well as the bosses of the store.

Most of the night crew, though – Ted Raimi (The Attic Expeditions), Renée Estevez (Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers), Billy Marti, Burr Steers, Sam Raimi, and Craig Stark – don’t really add that much. Sure, Marti’s character seems like he’ll be more important, and Burr Steers does have an oddly fun personality, but for the most part, these people are all just here to be victims of a mysterious killer.

Oh, I should probably also mention that Bruce Campbell (The Evil Dead) appears for a minute or so at the end, but he doesn’t do that much, and isn’t relevant to the story in any way, so whateves.

Speaking of the story, I appreciate the idea of a slasher set in a grocery store. I spent five years working a Meijer (a Michigan-based company that operates in six states – think of it as a higher-class Wal-Mart), and I also liked the idea of a killer knocking people off in a large store, where people can go unnoticed for long periods of time. Now, the store in Intruder isn’t some type of supermarket, but it’s still a fun idea, which brings us to the kills.

Naturally, you get your normal kills, such as someone stabbed with a big knife or a butcher knife slamming on someone’s head. Someone gets impaled on a meat hook, while another gets their head crushed in a bailer. Another guy gets their head slammed into one of those pointy receipt holders, and perhaps most well-known, there’s a band saw mishap which looks very much on the painful side. The effects for that scene weren’t necessarily great, but the idea behind that scene worked beautifully.

I do think the final scene, though, with that dramatic scream, was just a bit on the hokey side.

Intruder is a simple slasher with a prime goal of showing off decent kills. While the characters sometimes lack personality, the story is still pretty solid, and there’s plenty of suspenseful scenes and interesting camera angles here to keep things fresh. I enjoyed this one when I first saw it, and I still think it stands out quite well today.

8/10

Nightmares (1983)

Directed by Joseph Sargent [Other horror films: Jaws: The Revenge (1987)]

Nightmares is an anthology that I’ve always been fond of. Which is actually somewhat surprising, given I only really like two of the four stories. Like most anthologies, it’s uneven, but even so, the good outweighs the bad here.

Of the four stories (‘Terror in Topanga,’ ‘The Bishop of Battle,’ ‘The Benediction,’ and ‘Night of the Rat’), I think two of them shine, being ‘Terror in Topanga’ and ‘The Bishop of Battle.’ Because of my affinity toward the Bishop of Battle, as a character (‘I am the Bishop of Battle. I am the master of all I survey,’ is a quote I use too much in real life despite surveying little), and the killer special effects, I’ve always said this story was my favorite, and it still is.

‘Terror in Topanga’ takes a more classic look at thrills, and while it’s the shortest story of the bunch, I think it’s pretty damn effective. If you’ve seen Urban Legend, you might know where the story is going, but that doesn’t mean it packs any less of a punch. It opens the film with a lot of promise, and while not all of the stories fulfill that promise, it still makes one hell of a first segment.

My biggest qualm with ‘Night of the Rat’ is how the rat looks. It reminds me of The Food of the Gods – just a normal rat that’s enlarged and superimposed in the scene, and it just doesn’t look great. Honestly, the story’s not too shabby before then – though I wish that Albert Hague’s character was more involved – which is good, as this story’s around 35 minutes. Up until we actually see the rat, it’s not a bad time at all.

More than anything else, I find ‘The Benediction’ annoying. A priest loses his faith, fails to get any answers to his questions by others in the church (big shock, I know), and on his way to a new life, gets attacked by what seems to be a demonic truck. That scene in which the truck flies out of the ground is pretty cool, but as someone who isn’t at all religious, I was rooting for Lance Henriksen’s character to make a clean break from the cloth (of course knowing he wouldn’t).

As it is, despite not caring for the story, Lance Henriksen (The Horror Show, The Manger 2, Pumpkinhead) might be one of the best performances here, and certainly one of the most emotional. Cristina Raines (The Sentinel) wasn’t the most likable character, Emilio Estevez (Maximum Overdrive) certainly wasn’t likable, and Veronica Cartwright (Alien, The Birds) tended to annoy me a bit (despite the fact she was right about the problem her husband was facing).

Others who stood out, no matter how small their role, including Albert Hague, Anthony James (Burnt Offerings), Richard Masur (The Thing, It), Tony Plana (Slayer), and of course James Tolkan (Back to the Future) for voicing the Bishop of Battle.

And on the Bishop of Battle, again, those special effects (computer generated enemies from an arcade game) were quite cool. To the modern-day eye, they may not look like much, but I found them charming, and like I said, I’ve always rather liked this story. Some classic hustling of a Latino gang, some classic arcade action – it’s like the whole of the 80’s rolled into a single story, and it’s beautiful. Plus, it has the Bishop of Battle, master of all he surveys.

Overall, it’s true that Nightmares is mixed insofar as the stories go, but as much as ‘The Benediction’ and ‘Night of the Rat’ don’t do much for me, I really enjoy the first two stories, so based off that, I do think this movie is a bit above average.

7.5/10

Swamp Thing (1982)

Directed by Wes Craven [Other horror films: The Last House on the Left (1972), The Hills Have Eyes (1977), Stranger in Our House (1978), Deadly Blessing (1981), Invitation to Hell (1984), The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Chiller (1985), Deadly Friend (1986), The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988), Shocker (1989), The People Under the Stairs (1991), New Nightmare (1994), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Scream (1996), Scream 2 (1997), Scream 3 (2000), Cursed (2005), My Soul to Take (2010), Scream 4 (2011)]

While not your typical horror movie, Swamp Thing comes with a comic book feel to tell the story of a scientist tragically transformed into a beast, and using his newfound abilities to save the woman he loves, despite knowing that few could love him back.

Like I said, this Wes Craven movie has a comic book feel, and given this is based on a comic book character, that makes sense. I am a comic book collector, though I collect only Marvel – while I’ve read plenty of DC comics (primarily Batman, but various other things too), I never got into Swamp Thing. The main reason for that, I’d guess, is that I’m already a giant fan of Man-Thing, and in my mind, there’s no doubt which character I find more interesting.

Plus, Man-Thing has tendrils.

Truthfully, while I knew Swamp Thing’s name was Alec Holland, that’s about all I knew about his character. I didn’t even know he could talk (or at least can talk in this movie – since I’ve not read much Swamp Thing material, I have no idea if he can talk in the comic books), so that came as a surprise.

Despite not really having a working knowledge of the source material, there’s no doubt the movie is fun in a sort of campy, comic book way. I always enjoy a good swamp setting, and as one might expect, Swamp Thing has a beautiful swampy setting throughout. The story is decently tragic, though there’s also elements of optimism in the fact one of Swamp Thing’s abilities is to heal others, which is put to good use twice.

I didn’t know that Adrienne Barbeau (The Fog, Open House, Someone’s Watching Me!) starred here. She was a nice face to see, and I also felt her performance was particularly strong. I also didn’t know Ray Wise (Dead End, Jeepers Creepers 2, The Butterfly Room) was in it, but he was fun, and playing his character’s sister was Nannette Brown (who only had one other small role in the atrocious My Boyfriend’s Back), and I rather liked Brown’s character for the time she’s on screen.

Louis Jourdan (Ritual of Evil, Count Dracula, Fear No Evil) isn’t a name I know, but he made for an okay villain. More interesting to me was David Hess (Body Count, House on the Edge of the Park, The Last House on the Left, Smash Cut), who, surprise, I also didn’t know was here. Hess made for a pretty awful person, so he’s on point, and does well with it. Reggie Batts was decent comedic relief, and I found him a fun addition.

The special effects were pretty solid. I mean, I don’t think Swamp Thing looked great, but his character’s design never seemed that interesting to me to begin with. No tendrils, see. Still, he looked okay. The other effects were decent too, save the monster-thing at the end, which I thought looked rather awful, and also not a great route for that specific character to take.

Swamp Thing is probably a fair movie for fans of the comic book series, and I’d dare say that it’s a better movie for Swamp Thing fans than the 2005 Man-Thing movie was for Man-Thing fans. It’s not something I find great, and the fact Wes Craven directed this strikes me more of a curiosity than anything else, but it’s a decent time.

7/10