Tag: 1986

Directed by Wes Craven [Other horror films: The Last House on the Left (1972), The Hills Have Eyes (1977), Stranger in Our House (1978), Deadly Blessing (1981), Swamp Thing (1982), Invitation to Hell (1984), The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Chiller (1985), The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988), Shocker (1989), The People Under the Stairs (1991), New Nightmare (1994), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Scream (1996), Scream 2 (1997), Scream 3 (2000), Cursed (2005), My Soul to Take (2010), Scream 4 (2011)]

Deadly Friend is a Wes Craven movie I’ve not really heard much about, and after seeing it, I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s not an awful film, though – I just think it’s largely mediocre and will end up a pretty forgettable affair.

Based on a 1985 novel by Diana Henstell titled Friend, the story here deals with an intelligent young man who uses his knowledge in much the same way Frankenstein did back in 1931. Of course, it takes something like forty minutes to get to that point, and I can honestly say I wasn’t sure where the movie was going based off the first third, so there’s that.

Even so, I think I enjoyed the first third more than the rest of the movie – once a character dies and is essentially resurrected, I have to admit that I lost a lot of interest. Part of this is I was sort of hoping the antagonist force would have been the robot BB (in a horror version of Short Circuit), which I thought could have been decent, but the Frankenstein-esque route they took didn’t really do much for me at all.

It’s also worth mentioning that, based on a little reading, that the final product isn’t one that Craven is happy with – he wanted more a supernatural love story, whereas the studio wanted blood, as to match Craven’s previous work (such a A Nightmare on Elm Street), which naturally messed up Craven’s hopes for the film.

That said, I can’t say that I’d have enjoyed a more PG version much more than this one, and in fact, the scene in which a basketball is launched at someone’s head, and said head explodes, is the stand-out scene in the movie to me, especially in the latter portions, when I didn’t care for much that was going on.

To delve into this a little, the main character (Matthew Labyorteaux) brings back to life a friend and potential love interest. He’s depressed, and tries to fix her, and so he does what he can, re-animating her. However, he didn’t seem to have a plan past that point – unless he moves off on his own with his corpse bride locked away in the basement, there was zero chance that others, such as his mother, wouldn’t find out about it. It’s that lack of forward-thinking, especially from what we see as a very intelligent character, that bothered me quite a bit.

Grief hits people differently, to be sure. But if you’re going to bring back someone from the dead, try to have an actual plan to follow if it actually works. Just Jiggy’s advice.

Otherwise, Matthew Labyorteaux (Little House on the Prairie) made for a fine lead. I didn’t care where his story went, but he had a solid performance. Kristy Swanson’s (Swamp Shark, Mimesis Nosferatu, Killer Under the Bed) performance was captivating, at least while she actually had character. Others, such as Michael Sharrett, Russ Marin, and Anne Twomey, failed to make much of an impact.

Really, I think the biggest issue here is that, as decent as I found the beginning (save the annoying robot in the form of BB), I just don’t care where the story goes. There are some okay scenes (such as that basketball one), but it’s just not a movie I found overly enjoyable, nor do I think it’ll really stand out much in my memory.

5.5/10

Directed by Don Swan [Other horror films: N/A]

This is one of those films that I have a hard time hating. Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell isn’t a good movie, but the first half can be pretty amusing, and though the second half is a bit of a struggle, it’s still sort of fun in that ultra low-budget type of way.

At least the plot is unique – a man, Goza, is cursed by the Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood to live forever, feasting on the flesh of people to sustain himself. And so he does – he owns a seafood restaurant, and engages in killing people and practices cannibalism.

The first half of the film just sort of follows a few of the people who enter the establishment. A woman gets killed, and her boyfriend finds her ring in a hamburger. A health inspector gets killed after warning Goza he’d have to shut him down. A police officer finds hair in his beer and soup, and upon investigation, finds dismembered body parts, leading to the greatest scene in the film, in which his head is punched clean off his body.

It’s in the second half of this short film (it runs around 70 total minutes) that things become a little less interesting, though arguably more consistent. Members of the aforementioned Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood regret that they made Goza into what he is, and want to destroy the flesh-eating abomination that they created. With the High Priestess and loyal members, they fight back against the evil of Goza.

To be fair, it’s not a bad way for the story to go, but it felt far more fantasy to me than I personally care for, albeit in a very low budget form. Seeing people killed and chopped up into food is more interesting to me than seeing some Brotherhood strike back against Goza, but that’s because I come to a movie like this for the violence. It’s perhaps partially inspired by Blood Feast, and sometimes feels similar to Blood Diner (though this is a better movie, and I would die on that hill), but whatever went into creating this, boy, what a movie.

Theo Depuay, who played Goza, didn’t really have the suave personality you’d expect from a 600 year old cannibal. People didn’t seem to mind him too much (aside from this guy coming in for a short order cook job – this asshole played by Arnold William may have made one of the funniest scenes in the film), but boy, his personality needs work. There’s also Michael O’Neill, who does most of the killing, and has a solid, hulking menace vibe to him.

If you’re familiar with the VHS cover of this movie, you’ll see why this movie might stand out. Personally, I’ve always found it one of the most memorable covers for a horror film, and way back when I first heard about this movie and saw the cover, I knew I wanted to see it.

As such, it didn’t really impress me when I did finally see it, and I can firmly say it’s not a good movie after seeing it a second time, but that doesn’t mean Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell can’t be an amusing film at times.

5.5/10

Directed by Robert Hughes [Other horror films: Hunter’s Blood (1986), Memorial Valley Massacre (1989)]

There aren’t many movies out there like Hunter’s Blood, which is a shame, because I’ve seen it twice now, and it’s a pretty damn fun movie.

Many compare it to Deliverance, which is likely a fair comparison. I’ve only seen Deliverance once (and I probably wasn’t older than 11), so I can’t say, but I can say it’s not too dissimilar from films like Whiskey Mountain or Rituals, the difference being Hunter’s Blood is a bit more action-packed as opposed to suspenseful. To be sure, there’s suspense here, but it’s not often the focus.

In the film, five city folk go hunting deep in the woods of Arkansas, and run into some poachers, who aren’t keen on outside folk poking around their business. There’s a bit of build-up before things really get going – before any violence rears it’s head, there’s some conflicts of culture (one of the city folk, a guy named Marty, has apparently never been to the south before, and can’t resist doing and saying stupid things), but once things blast off, they blast off hard.

This is a pretty violent film once the violence starts up. Among the most disturbing scenes is the body of a man who’s been half skinned, and people also stumble upon a decapitated head (not unlike the scene in Rituals). There’s a shotgun blast that blows someone’s head off – even I was surprised by how violent the aftermath of that was. Someone gets a knife right through the jaw, which was a fun scene. It’s an action-packed film, and has the violence to attest to that.

It’s also a beautiful setting. I’m not much of an outdoorsy type – I’ve never been fishing, let alone hunting, and I don’t believe I’ve ever been camping in my life. If I were to, though, I would hope it’s be as pleasant-looking as the location in the film. IMDb states, without detail, that the movie was filmed in California – whether that’s true or not, I don’t know, but wherever this was filmed, it really does look quite nice.

Sam Bottoms isn’t a name I really know, though he was also in Up from the Depths. He’s a great lead, and though I wasn’t fond of his wife, played by Kim Delaney (Project: Metalbeast), she did decent during the finale. Joey Travolta (brother of John Travolta) played such an annoying character, but he eventually grew on me. Mayf Nutter and Ken Swofford were both good, especially Swofford, but it’s really Clu Gulager (A Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy’s Revenge) who pulled everything together wonderfully, and though he’s incapacitated during the latter half of the movie, his character was one of my favorites.

Among the many antagonists, there’s plenty of good performances, but I think the leader, played by Lee de Broux, was easily the most threatening. He had a great aura about him, and he definitely seemed like a tough customer. Others that may be recognizable include Charles Cyphers (Halloween), Mickey Jones (Penny Dreadful), Bruce Glover (Night of the Scarecrow), and Billy Bob Thorton (in his first acting role).

Hunter’s Blood might not seem like a good movie, and it’s definitely atypical compared to other horror films from the 1980’s, but it’s a rewarding experience, and I’d recommend it to anyone who wants a nice slice of culture conflicts.

8/10

Directed by Lynn Silver [Other horror films: N/A]

I first heard about this over ten years ago from a VHS-collecting friend of mine, and it’s from him that I also heard last about this. That may be written poorly, but my point is that Ghost Stories: Graveyard Thriller is quite obscure, and after finally seeing it, it’s not difficult to see why.

If you’re familiar with An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe, then you’ll understand what this straight-to-video movie was going for. If you’re not, here’s a little background: An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe was a 50-minute movie in which Vincent Price recited four stories written by Edgar Allan Poe. They weren’t normal anthology stories – it was purely spoken word. And because Vincent Price was reciting them, it’s a nifty experience.

This movie was going for the same thing – we have a host (Bob Jenkins) who is walking around the Tuesday Hill Boneyard (classy cemetery name) and introducing extended family members (cousins, a brother-in-law, that type of thing), each of whom have a story to tell. They tell their story – occasionally with props (such as a coffin, a bolt, or a severed hand) – and it’s onto the next tale.

Overall, the whole thing lasts 56 minutes or so, and while perhaps the most low-budget thing I’ve seen in my life, I can’t say I wasn’t occasionally entertained. Only two of the five stories are really worth it, but it’s more the whole of the product than the individual pieces, and this was just fascinating.

Though it’s not listed anywhere in the credits, I believe this was filmed in South Carolina. Not only was South Carolina mentioned at least three times throughout the film, but also the production company is named Alamance Entertainment – Alamance is one of the counties of South Carolina. That goes a long way to explain some of these accents, some of which are quite southern, and adds a little spice to the recited stories.

Of the five stories (‘Where Have You Been Billy Boy, Billy Boy,’ ‘Mr. Fox,’ ‘Buried Alive,’ ‘Hunting Werewolves for Uncle Albert,’ and ‘Reunion’), the only two that I’d recommend based on content would be ‘Where Have You Been Billy Boy, Bill Boy’ and ‘Mr. Fox.’ ‘Mr. Fox’ is narrated by one Laura Kay, and while she’s not great, the story itself is sort of fun. ‘Where Have You Been Billy Boy, Billy Boy’ is nicely narrated by Ralph Lucas (who also wrote the story), and the story is perhaps the best written, what with an asylum, disfigured patients, and rats who sexually assault women.

‘Buried Alive’ isn’t the most original nor most interesting tale, but it does possess a deeply amusing aura, as it’s narrated by one Sandra McLees (who in fact not only wrote ‘Buried Alive,’ but also wrote ‘Mr. Fox’). McLees is a Southern woman through-and-through, and her dramatic recital of this story is just great (“Oh God, they’re gunna bury me alive!!”). It’s what men refer to when they speak of the ‘higher arts.’

‘Hunting Werewolves for Uncle Albert,’ which is actually a story told by our host Bob Jenkins, is just too silly to really get into. It has some okay portions (such as Uncle Albert telling the host that if he were a jaybird, “it’d fly backerds” [my attempted phonetic pronunciation of how this guy pronounces ‘backwards’]), but it also has Frankenstein’s monster chewing tobacco with the main character, and just has a terrible ending.

Somewhat related, the final story, being ‘Reunion’ recited by Maria Hayden, was occasionally funny, but mostly a generic yarn about witchcraft.

I probably enjoy this more than I should, but that doesn’t mean I’m fooling myself into thinking it’s a good movie. No doubt it’s interesting, and were it a play, it might go over well, but despite some good recitals (Sandra McLees and Ralph Lucas) and an animated, occasionally-amusing host (Bob Jenkins), this really isn’t a movie I think would appeal to many.

Because I love cheap, SOV horror films, I knew I had to see it, and I’m happy I did. Even more, it wasn’t near as dull as I thought it’d be. Despite all of that, though, it’s definitely not a good movie, and more a curiosity than anything else.

5.5/10

Directed by Jim Wynorski [Other horror films: Not of This Earth (1988), The Return of Swamp Thing (1989), Transylvania Twist (1989), The Haunting of Morella (1990), Sorority House Massacre II (1990), Hard to Die (1990), Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991), 976-Evil II (1991), Ghoulies IV (1994), Sorceress (1995), The Wasp Woman (1995), Vampirella (1996), Storm Trooper (1998), The Bare Wench Project (2000), Raptor (2001), The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless (2001), Project Viper (2002), Wolfhound (2002), The Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain (2002), Cheerleader Massacre (2003), Bare Wench Project: Uncensored (2003), The Thing Below (2004), The Curse of the Komodo (2004), Gargoyle (2004), Komodo vs. Cobra (2005), The Witches of Breastwick (2005), The Witches of Breastwick 2 (2005), Bare Wench: The Final Chapter (2005), Cry of the Winged Serpent (2007), House on Hooter Hill (2007), Bone Eater (2007), Vampire in Vegas (2009), Cleavagefield (2009), The Hills Have Thighs (2010), Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010), Camel Spiders (2011), Piranhaconda (2012), Gila! (2012), Scared Topless (2015), Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (2015), Legend of the Naked Ghost (2017), CobraGator (2018)]

In many ways, Chopping Mall is a pretty simple movie, taking common elements and meshing them together decently well. It’s not special, and it’s not even particularly memorable, but it’s digestible fun, which counts in it’s favor.

Apparently far more based on Gog (1954) than it was Short Circuit (which came out a year before), the film follows security robots going awry and chasing down eight teens who stay after hours and party in a furniture store (a spiritual prequel to Hide and Go Shriek, some might say). The variety of the kills isn’t really that high, but you do get the ever-classic head being blown off by a laser, which was actually repeated during the beginning of the credits. The electrocutions were sort of cheesy, but still fun. Oh, and there was a slit throat, so there’s some “chopping” for you.

Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet) was solid as a more-reserved teen who quickly became one of the best fighters this group of kids had. She was fun, occasionally adorable, and easy to root for. Few of the other seven teens stand out, though. Tony O’Dell was okay, Suzee Slater had quality breasts (and a fantastic death scene), and even Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond, and most famously, Beyond the Gates) was just eh. No one else stood out aside from Dick Miller, who had just a single scene, but as always with Miller, it was a lot of fun.

As one would hope, the soundtrack is pretty fun (albeit somewhat generic) 80’s synth, but even more fun were the multiple references to other movies. Obviously the posters of The Slumber Party Massacre, Galaxy of Terror, and Forbidden World were visible toward the beginning, but you have Miller’s character being named Walter Paisley (the same name of a character he played in A Bucket of Blood), and then there’s Roger’s Little Shop of Pets (of course referencing The Little Shop of Horrors). Some characters were watching Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957) early on before the fun with the robots began. They even threw in some characters from Eating Raoul (a movie I didn’t particularly like, but hey, whateves), so overall, this was fun and playful.

What wasn’t fun or playful was that scene in the pet shop, though – tarantulas probably have very good souls, but they terrify me (just as they did in Deadly Blessing), and that scene in which they’re crawling on Maroney’s arm just freaks me out. That was legit the hardest scene to watch in the film.

With plenty of fun lines, such as Maroney’s final one-liner, and a good, quick pace, Chopping Mall is a movie that got it’s job done and done well. Sure, there’s only one really memorable death scene, and few other scenes really stand out (though I do love the silhouette of the killbot snapping it’s pincers), but even knowing that, Chopping Mall is fun, and it has been since I first saw it years back.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

7.5/10

Directed by Fred Dekker [Other horror films: The Monster Squad (1987)]

This is a solid piece of campy fun, and while Night of the Creeps is a rather tongue-in-cheek film, it’s not too much as to be distracting, and ends up an all-around entertaining movie.

Honestly, there’s not that much to the story, and ignoring the stylistic black-and-white flashback introduction, the movie takes place over the course of just a few days. That doesn’t make the film weak, by any means, but it certainly doesn’t have that epic feel you might expect (which is probably to it’s benefit).

If there’s one place where I think the movie maybe went a bit overboard, it’s with the constant references to famous horror-related directors and actors, such as Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter, Steve Miner, Sam Raimi, and David Cronenberg, among others. We got it after the first few names popped up. On the other hand, Atkins’ saying “Thrill me” never got old, nor was I unhappy to see Dick Miller for a few moments.

Jason Lively wasn’t the best here – I just didn’t really care for the look of him. I think he was a fine companion piece with Jill Whitlow, though, and his friendship with Steve Marshall (who, in himself, was a sort of unique character, what with the disability) was sort of nice to see.

Let’s be honest, though. The true star here is Dick Miller, who’s been in tons of horror films, from Chopping Mall to Gremlins, The Little Shop of Horrors to The Howling, Demon Knight – wait, no. Upon further examination, I think Tom Atkins is the true star, though as always, it’s fantastic to see Dick Miller pop up, even though it’s for only a single scene.

Tom Atkins (The Fog, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Maniac Cop) was great here. You couldn’t help but feel for him upon learning about his full backstory, and that scene in which he decides to help out Spanky as opposed to killing himself was oddly touching, as was the conclusion. Atkins was great here, and I thought he brought a lot to this film, especially since virtually no one else here aside from Miller had experience with horror.

The special effects are all pretty good aside from that pile of slugs at the end, which looked somewhat janky (and to be fair, that dog puppet didn’t look the best either). Slugs are admittedly probably hard to mess up, but they looked good here, and the zombie designs were all admirable (if a bit uninspired, but that wasn’t the focus, so I can’t complain).

With quite a few amusing quotes throughout (including the one on the poster about the ‘good news/bad news’) and a good sense of what this movie was going for, Night of the Creeps is a good film that’s well-worth it’s cult classic status. It doesn’t blow me away, but it’s always a fun watch.

7.5/10