Tag: USA

Directed by Andy Anderson [Other horror films: N/A]

I can barely think of an appropriate response to this film.

This conspiracy-driven action/horror/comedy mix is something that was certainly an experience to view. It wasn’t particularly good, and the horror vibe sort of disappeared about halfway through the film, instead feeling like some cheap conspiracy thriller, mixed with comedic quips every other sentence, yet it still maintained a high level of violence.

I’m not entirely sure what this movie was going for. I’ll admit that much of the comedy I found amusing, partially because the two main characters, played by John S. Davies and Lauren Lane, had such a goofy, over-the-top style. Early on, the film was just odd, what with a prankster starting a shoot-out, a man being killed by a phone call, and a prostitute being blown up by a television (talk about sentences you never expect to write).

Which isn’t to say the film wasn’t odd later on – it just followed a slightly more generic route, with a bunch of people attempting to kill the two main characters, almost exclusively with firearms (which is why the film feels much more action than horror past a certain point). This isn’t also to say the film isn’t amusing, because it really can be. The problem is, it’s not consistently so.

The biggest problem, though, is that the plot didn’t seem to know where it wanted to go. If it stuck to a more horror feel, I think that it’d have done more for me. And those Atari/electronic voices annoyed the hell out of me, on a side-note. Interface is a strange movie that might do more for you than it did for me. I’d just recommending watching it, and see how it goes, but don’t expect too much. It’s an 80’s obscurity for a reason.

5.5/10

Directed by Dominick Brascia [Other horror films: Evil Laugh (1986)]

I don’t really know how else to describe this movie but ‘fun.’ It’s not overly cheesy, nor is it particularly gory, but I had a blast watching this flick, which is part-werewolf, part-something else.

A lot of the music in the film is sort of generic hard rock, but whatever, it worked and kept me engaged. The characters, while nothing special, all brought a little something to the film (be it nudity, in the case of Annie Mikan, or just a fun personality, such as Tom Shell). There’s also a lot of fun to be had with just the opening scene (that grandfather had me breaking out laughing twice in the first two minutes), and a dream sequence later in the film was just so bizarre, it’d be hard not to laugh.

Much of the cast was fun too, even if they weren’t particularly good. Susan Grillo was cute, as was Lisa Guggenheim. Annie Mikan did really well as the bitch of the group. Couldn’t stand her, but she did her role as it was meant to be done. Troy Donahue at first is a bit generic, but toward the end, his acting was a blast to behold, in the most ridiculous way. Greg Joujon-Roche was decent as one of the leading characters.

As for the twist at the end, I have to imagine it would turn some people, maybe a lot of people, away. As for me? Threw me for a loop, and I loved it. What helped was Troy Donahue’s utterly over-the-top acting during the scene, and it made that finale something special.

Directed by the same guy who did the slasher Evil Laugh (Dominick Brascia, who really only did these two horror films before moving onto other pastures), a film I recall rather liking quite a bit, Hard Rock Nightmare might not quite end up being what you’re expecting. I had a lot of fun with it, but then again, my taste in movies is somewhat eclectic. I just know that I enjoyed the hell out of this despite the lack of gore. Solid, if a bit low-budget, film, and one I’d definitely watch again in the future.

8.5/10

Directed by Bill Leslie [Other horror films: N/A] & Terry Loftin [Other horror films: N/A]

While certainly a gory movie, everything else was a bit of a hassle to sit through, and ultimately, much is left to be desired after finishing this.

The one thing this early straight-to-video horror gets right is the gore. It’s not always great, and it’s moderately derivative, but at the very least, this movie has it. The body count is pretty high here, too – at least ten to twelve on-screen deaths, which is sort of nice. Unfortunately, that’s sort of all this film can really boast about.

Everything else is quite shoddy. I’m even a fan of SOV horror – I enjoyed Night Ripper, Cannibal Campout, Houseboat Horror, Spine, and a handful of others. This film, though, just wasn’t as enjoyable as any of the ones I listed. It’s a shame, as this movie could have played as a serious rape-revenge film, like I Spit on Your Grave, but instead of taking that route, it goes the ‘serial killer making terrible jokes’ direction, and it came across as rather ridiculous, especially given the killer’s backstory.

I don’t expect great acting, but at least one or two performances that stand out would be nice. Instead, all we got here was Ron Queen, who was amusing only in the fact he always had the same neutral expression on his face. Queen is literally the only one who really stood out in any way, which is amazing, as for a low-budget SOV film, this movie doesn’t really have that small a cast.

I think that this movie could have been better if they had chosen to approach the material differently. Instead of making it a product of the 80’s, if they went more for the feel of the aforementioned I Spit on Your Grave or Toolbox Murders, it’d have been a bit better. For an 80’s film, this movie was just dry, and even when it was trying to add a little spice with the killer’s idiotic comments, it just made it worse. Aside from some decent gore, The Nail Gun Massacre isn’t that worth watching, which is really a shame, as it really had potential.

5/10

Directed by Harry Kerwin [Other horror films: Barracuda (1978)]

After having wanted to see this one for many years now, I can’t help but feel disappointed. Not because the movie is particularly bad, but because I was expecting something quite different from what we got.

What I was hoping for was a grimy exploitation flick with decent gore and an escalation of conflict between the mountain men and the construction company. Instead, we get a lot of characters I wasn’t expecting dealing with various drama, and eventually coming into contact with the three brothers and dying in somewhat grisly (yet entirely gore-free) ways.

It’s certainly grimy, as the rape scene can attest to, and it’s entirely a product of the 1970’s, but for much of the film, it wasn’t that engaging or enthralling. While the sluggish pace was bad enough, the lack of gore in lieu of characterization of the three brothers, wasn’t the best trade-off, in my opinion.

What makes this sting more is that one of the main actors, William Kerwin, starred in three H.G. Lewis films (A Taste of Blood, Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs!), not to mention plenty of other horror flicks, from Whiskey Mountain, The Shadow of Chikara, and Barracuda. With a guy like this, you’d expect a movie with a bit more force. Most of the other actors and actresses here did fine, though by far, Kerwin was the strongest link.

God’s Bloody Acre had potential, and I think they sensed it while making it, as there are some artistic and creative cuts in here that look like they belong in a higher-budget film. As it is, this movie might work out well for a drive-in (and the copy I saw certainly had that scratchy, 70’s feel that I associate with that), but due to the lack of gore and heavy drama at the beginning, I’d have to unfortunately say that this isn’t much worth watching.

5.5/10

Directed by Christopher Ray [Other horror films: Reptisaurus (2009), Megaconda (2010), Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010), Shark Week (2012), Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (2015), 3-Headed Shark Attack (2015), A House Is Not a Home (2015), Circus Kane (2017), Minutes to Midnight (2018)]

No. Just no.

The problem with some movies is that there are no characters that are interesting or much worth rooting for, no matter how bad their situation. 2-Headed Shark Attack is one of them. What doesn’t help is the hideous CGI, most noticeable during the death sequences. They put the least amount of effort possible into making the CGI passable (and, of course, still managed to fail).

These types of films can occasionally be okay. And this film in particular had, to date, three sequels, so there’s always a chance that one of those might be passable. But there’s no redeemable characters here save one played by David Gallegos, and a bunch of somewhat attractive girls in bikinis doesn’t make up for the fact that the movie and story utterly sucked. Hopefully the series can pick up after this one, as if all four movies are of this quality, I just don’t get the point.

2/10

Directed by Alex Merkin [Other horror films: Across the Hall (2009), House of the Witch (2017)]

For a modern-day Syfy original, this was a pretty interesting and decent movie. Unfortunately, it’s held back by a few things, but it’s still overall an okay popcorn flick.

It felt almost like a combination of Cube 2: Hypercube and Saw, with Cube’s influences coming in more toward the end. The film certainly had a solid atmosphere, albeit it there were more than a few things that didn’t really seem to make sense.

Young Jeni Ross did a fine job in the movie, and her character was decently likable herself. Her father, played by Mark Ghanimé, was fun also, and probably had one of the better performances in the film. The father/estranged daughter dynamic really helped ratchet the suspense up, and you couldn’t help but hope for a happy ending.

As it was, the ending wasn’t that great. In fact, it barely felt a competent conclusion. Instead of explaining anything, some characters discover that their horrors aren’t quite over as previously thought (those horrors not having been explained at all), and boom, the end. I was hoping for some kind of explanation to the situation they encountered, and a much better ending that, you know, actually felt like an ending. It’s a shame they couldn’t manage that, as the movie had a lot of potential beforehand.

Those are pretty big flaws, and definitely brought down my rating more than a little. I still think the concept and execution is decently cool, but without any type of explanation to tie everything together, the audience is left in the dark as to what was really going on. The father-daughter dynamics worked well, and those performances sort of help counterbalance the lack of a solid conclusion, but the movie would have been so much better had they buckled in and forced out a better ending.

Still, the story was interesting, and there were some creepy scenes and occasional gore. For a Syfy original, I’d say this did pretty well, but it’ll likely end up as little more than forgettable when all is said and done.

7/10

Directed by Michael Hawes [Other horror films: N/A]

I hadn’t really heard of this one before watching it, and thus, had no expectations one way or the other going in. I am happy to report that despite the lower budget, this movie is something that’s probably worth watching.

It’s a bit of a slow beginning, but it’s bolstered by the fact that the actors really feel like a family in a stressful situation. Mel Novak did well as the father, and occasionally came off with an Amityville Horror vibe. A.J. Woods and Kaylin Cool did great as the bickering younger brother and older sister. Neither of them had any other roles in anything else, so it’s especially impressive. It was a well put-together cast, so despite the sluggish beginning, I was still glued to the screen.

The story itself was moderately fascinating also. At times, it felt more like one of those 70’s devil worshiper movies, and because the movie lacked much of the lighter tone normally found in 80’s films for a drier, 70’s feel, it felt somewhat authentic, in a disjointed, ‘what’s-going-on’ way.

As far as problems go, my main one is that the police subplot. It didn’t really go anywhere, despite a good twenty-five minutes, if not more, being spent on it. Not only that, but those portions at the police station were actually pretty cool, in a Storm of the Century-type way. Shame, really, that it didn’t play more into the plot.

Still, the downbeat conclusion was fun. I wouldn’t say that this film is amazing, but it felt unique. I wish it had some better death scenes, but I liked what we got. If you want a movie that’s a bit more out there, I’d recommend maybe giving this a look. I can’t guarantee you’ll love it, but I think that most would find it interesting, despite the lower budget at their disposal.

7.5/10

Directed by James Oxford [Other horror films: N/A]

Unfortunately, this television movie is little better now than when I last saw it many years back.

The biggest problem with this movie is that literally within the first two minutes of the film, you can guess what the plot twist is going to be, and you’d be right. Since the plot twist isn’t officially revealed until an hour and three minutes in, you’re stuck with people getting a lot of clues (and I mean a lot) before they finally figure it out themselves, and meanwhile, you’re bored to death. It doesn’t help that this Sci-Fi movie (yep, this was before that hideous name change) had atrocious special effects.

The gore was a little better than the other special effects, but there wasn’t enough of it to really much positively influence the film. As for most of the special effects, oh boy. Very little here actually looked anything close to resembling good. A lot of terrible effects here, which compliments the generic characters we get.

I won’t talk much about the performances here. The only character I thought was enjoyable, Nicholas Irons played. He wasn’t a great actor, but I liked the character. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa was somewhat fun, but his character was quite bland. Antonio Sabato Jr. was just blah, and leading girl Deanne Russo was terrible.

Ghost Voyage might have some charm if you can take the bad story, bad special effects, and bad ending. Other than that, though, I wouldn’t recommend it. Definitely not one of Sci-Fi’s better efforts.

4/10

Directed by Edward L. Cahn [Other horror films: Creature with the Atom Brain (1955), The She-Creature (1956), Zombies of Mora Tau (1957), Voodoo Woman (1957), Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957), It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958), Curse of the Faceless Man (1958), The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake (1959), Invisible Invaders (1959)]

I didn’t really grow up on many Disney movies, but the 1991 Beauty and the Beast was one of them, and I deeply love it. The 2017 version with Emma Watson is also quite enjoyable.

This movie is nothing like those.

For one, it’s not a musical. The plot is also significantly altered (unlike other adaptations, the Beast is only a beast at night – during the day, he’s a normal guy), and it occasionally has a darker tone, though I regret to say toward the end, it followed the original story more, leading away from any horror aspects to more a fantastical feeling.

There were some fun things here, though – the king’s father had a curse put on his bloodline by a sorcerer, and to find a way to end the curse, some main characters search through catacombs looking for the hidden tomb, which was a fun sequence. The transformation scenes were good also (he legitimately looked like the Wolfman for a bit), but there were a bit too many, alas.

While no one did particularly poorly here, only two cast members stood out. Eduard Franz (who hasn’t been in many horror films, but was featured strongly in The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake) was a solid character, and I enjoyed almost every scene he was in. Stronger still was Walter Burke (a rather big name, I loved his Irish accent here, despite the film taking place in Italy), who played a sleazy side character who was glorious in every moment he appeared.

I wish they had kept darker elements toward the conclusion, as opposed to dropping much of the suspense about halfway through. The director, Edward Cahn, had done plenty of horror films before this, which are listed above. It is worth noting that this was his final film before his death in 1963.

When Beauty and the Beast had more horror-like moments, I think the movie stood out more. Regardless, I had fun still, and would recommend the movie to fans of the Disney animated film, if only so they can compare the two. It’s a bit light on horror, but is the movie mostly fun, aside from the somewhat played out conclusion? I rather think so.

7/10

Directed by Frank R. Strayer [Other horror films: The Vampire Bat (1933), The Ghost Walks (1934), Condemned to Live (1935)]

Maybe I’m an easy guy to please. This film is entirely pedestrian, even for the time period. A dark and stormy night. A reading of a will. An old, creaky house with secret passages, moving picture frames, and a gorilla. A hand reaching out to an unsuspecting victim’s neck. And more than a few red herrings.

I’ve seen this film three or four times, though, and I still absolutely love it.

The movie was made cheaply – it’s pretty obvious. But the creaky atmosphere, mixed with the constant storm and clues and someone trying to figure out what’s going on, it’s all so fun. I don’t know if I can explain it any more than that – I’ve always had a very fun time with this movie.

There’s not a performance here that isn’t decent. It is extraordinarily unfortunate that black actor Willie Best (who, I kid you not, is credited in this movie as Sleep ‘n Eat) was given the role of a cowardly black chauffeur, who is used purely for comedic purposes (as was so common in those racially disgusting days). He does a good job despite the racist role he was given. Martha Mattox (who was also in 1927’s The Cat and the Canary, Murder by the Clock, and a horror-western with John Wayne called Haunted Gold from 1932) was pretty fun here, though her role wasn’t really too far removed from her previous works.

Mischa Auer (who was also in the serial King of the Wild, along with 1931’s The Drums of Jeopardy) was quite threatening in this one, and had a very solid presence. Playing an invalid man, Sheldon Lewis (who was not only in the less popular Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from 1920, but also Seven Footprints to Satan, a favorite silent horror film of mine) had a decent role, though I sort of wish a bit more was done with him. Rex Lease, our main protagonist, was pretty cookie-cutter, but did a fine enough job as to not warrant any complaints.

In total, this movie clocks in at an hour long, which doesn’t give it much time to play around with. I think, for the budget, they do a good job here making an entertaining and enjoyable movie. I’ve seen this film quite a few times, and I still find myself enjoying it. Maybe that means I’m an easy guy to please, but whatever the cause, I find this a movie that, despite it’s pedestrian nature, fans of 30’s horror would enjoy.

8.5/10