Tag: 2015

Directed by Marcus Nispel [Other horror films: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Frankenstein (2004), Friday the 13th (2009)]

This film was exceptionally atrocious and mind-numbingly stupid. I could end the review there, but I’ll delve into why I believe this is so. A bunch of teens have a party at an old children’s mental hospital. One of the patients comes back from the dead and possesses someone. Stuff happens. Actually, given the “twist” at the end, this plot isn’t even accurate, but they never bother explaining anything.

So much of this film relied on logic being on a separate plane. For instance, after some creepy stuff begins to happen, the teens decide not to call the police (which might make a modicum of sense, because one of the members of the group hit someone with his car, and they don’t want to go to prison).

But later on, once the building locks itself up, and the teens find the body missing (meaning no potential jail time), they don’t even considering calling the cops. Keep in mind, they have internet service, so even if a call can’t make it through, they’d still be able to potentially contact the outside world. But no. What do they use their phones for? To look up how to perform exorcisms.

It’s as though logic would be a nice idea, but for this film, it was an afterthought they never got to. None of the characters were remotely likeable. Many of the scenes don’t make sense in retrospect. The jump scares are underwhelming.

There are a few things that can be said that a good, though: for one, the film does have a more comedic take on things (evidenced by a few characters), but don’t get the idea it’s a comedy-horror; it’s not. It’s simply light-hearted every now and again. Secondly, much of the gore is actually pretty decent (save a CGI face-being-cut-in-half scene). There was even a funny line that made me smile. But that’s it.

Directed by Marcus Nispel (who directed not only the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but the Friday the 13th remake also), Exeter is a poor, poor film. See, a film like Jockstrap Slaughterhouse may not appeal to many people; it was ultra-low quality and had some overly silly scenes also. But that movie didn’t take itself nearly as seriously as this movie did. More so, I actually had fun watching Jockstrap Slaughterhouse. For Exeter, I just wanted the suffering to end (and as it’s an average 90-minute length, it’s Hell to get there). Exeter is a piece of shit, to be nice about it. The gore is about the only thing going for it, and that’s not nearly enough.

3/10

Directed by Joe Bandelli [Other horror films: Bumbloods (2012), Unknown Dimension: The Story of Paranormal Activity (2021)]

A pretty standard slasher fair, Cabin Fear (also known under the title Seclusion, which is how I saw it) features a group of friends who are slowly killed off while they’re at an isolated cabin for a destination wedding.

As this movie is mostly moved by characterization, and there’s not that many characters to speak of (eight total cast members, not counting the extras at the beginning), it’d have been really easy for the movie to fail, but actually, it mostly worked out moderately well. While the plot isn’t overly creative, the interaction between the characters seemed real and accomplished it’s goal.

As for the identity of the killer, that’s more a mixed bag. There’s plenty of red herrings throughout the film, and while they skirted that with the reveal, things still weren’t done as well as they could have been. I don’t even know if the killer could have realistically killed those that died, as the time-frame seems off. That’s not mentioning a scene prior to the reveal, which seems to contradict what was revealed after. Basically, a few scenes needed tightening up a bit.

Another thing worth mentioning is the music, which seems to be stock violin music. It’s difficult for me to explain, but the music sounded really cheap, for lack of a better word, and they definitely should have thought twice before using it.

To end on a positive note, though, most of the actors and actresses did a pretty fine job. Nicole Pacent (who’s character I am still mixed on) stole the scenes she was in, Alyson McKenzie Wells did a perfect blonde airhead slut, and while Matthew Wise wasn’t remarkable, his character wasn’t either, so all’s well there. The only problem I had insofar as acting’s concerned is Clea Alsip. Throughout the film, she was a sappy newlywed, never missing a chance to tell her new husband that she loves him. I know there are people like that out there, but in the situation they were in, it sort of got on my nerves.

Seclusion isn’t going to win any awards, but it was a pleasant enough movie made average by a failure to fully explain a scene or two, and adding in some unnecessary red herrings. All things considered, this probably falls somewhere around being average. It’s not really something I’d recommend to others, but I wouldn’t run the other direction if offered it.

7/10

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan [Other horror films: Signs (2002), The Village (2004), The Happening (2008), Split (2016), Old (2021), Knock at the Cabin (2023)]

As disagreeable as some may find my opening statement, here I go: The Visit isn’t that bad a film.

Sure, it’s far from perfect – though one can expect more jump scares in found footage films (it just seems to make sense), this movie was a bit inundated with them to an annoying degree. Typical Hollywood jump scares can be okay in moderate doses, I feel. But when they make up a large portion of the total scares, something’s wrong.

But the film did many things right, as far as I’m concerned. Throughout the first hour of the movie, tension is built decently well between the grandchildren and the grandparents. In particular, the scenes with the oven and Becca (played by Olivia DeJonge) were quite tense, though the first one far more so than the second.

And while we’re on this topic, let’s talk about the grandchildren in the film.

Some reviews claim that the children are annoying and unrealistic, which gets a bit old. Whenever a child acts differently than people expect, it’s always “unrealistic.” Was Tyler (played by Ed Oxenbould) and his proclivity toward rapping annoying? Yes, but guess what – 13 year olds are often annoying. I know I was. In fact, if Tyler wasn’t annoying to some extent, something would be suspect. Did Becca use a more expanded vocabulary than you’d expect from an average 15-year old girl? Indeed, but so do many teenagers. Some teenagers talk just as Becca did in this film. Is it common? Not quite, but claiming that Becca was unrealistic because of her manner of speaking is utterly idiotic.

Why am I harping on this point? The Visit, when all is said and done, is just an average film. But the one thing they got down pat were the grandchildren. They’re performance, save one scene near the end from Oxenbould, was pretty damn good. The relationship between Becca and her brother was portrayed very well; perhaps Tyler was being a tad more dickish than he should have been when grilling Becca about her self-esteem issues, but then again, how many 13-year old boys are oblivious? I know I was. The relationship between them felt real throughout almost the whole film. For that alone, I applaud these two for their performance.

As for the movie itself, the twist, while expected to an extent, wasn’t that bad. But it did feel a wee heavy handed during the reveal. So what we have here is a tense movie for the first two-thirds, and an average horror film for the last thirty. Great acting from the kids, and decent acting from the grandparents. And, let’s not leave this out, some pretty emotional scenes from both Oxenbould and DeJonge. In the end, The Visit is just about average with some really stand-out points. Factors such as the reveal of the twist, along with the final ten minutes or so, bring it down bit, and what could have been an 8 or 8.5 loses points for an almost over-reliance on jump scares and a flawed final act.

7.5/10

Directed by Michael Dougherty [Other horror films: Trick ‘r Treat (2007)]

I didn’t have a whole lot of expectations going into this one, despite having seen the trailer a few times, and overall, that may have been a positive thing.

Krampus does many things right – the atmosphere is appropriately bleak and frigid, with multiple well-done scenes depicting the cold Hell this extended family has found themselves in. Most of the comedic elements are decent, and I’ve no complaints about the acting of any of the characters, which is of course another plus. The flashback, as narrated by the grandmother, was done in a rather enjoyable animation, and thoroughly enjoyable to witness. The Krampus’ design was pretty solid. Even most of the ending worked for me.

Of course, few movies are totally without flaws. At times, the amount of dangerous creatures got a bit much (a teddy bear, gingerbread cookies, an evil angel, a Jack-in-the-Box, and a toy robot, for instance), and while I’ve no complaint about most of these, I thought the gingerbread men were a bit ridiculous. Toward the end, when the pit to Hell (presumably) opened, I was finding it more difficult to care than I’d hope for (if only because I expected some twist to come up, rendering the whole thing moot).

And while the ending scene itself was actually pretty cool (the snow globe workshop was indeed fun), the last split second was a jump scare, with a bunch of evil toys coming at the screen. I abhor endings that try to scare the audience (not a character in the movie, but the audience) in the last split second. It’s over-done, and ruins any chance that the movie could be spectacular. All-in-all, Krampus is a good slice of Christmas horror. Plenty of the actors and actresses stand out (notably Emjay Anthony, Adam Scott, Stefania LaVie Owen, and Conchata Ferrell), and while not the best Christmas comedy-horror film out there (Santa’s Slay, anyone?), it was certainly worth a watch.

8/10

Directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer [Other horror films: Holidays (2016, segment ‘New Year’s Eve’), Daniel Isn’t Real (2019)]

Throughout the first thirty minutes, I was deeply enjoying this movie. A bullied kid finally strikes back, and gets sent to a new-age type anger management camp in the middle of the desert. Alas, he can’t escape bullies there either, as three alpha-male dicks start picking on him. It’s when he runs into a restricted portion of the camp, angry at the bullies, wanting them dead, when the spirit of a former patient begins to get revenge for the both of them.

Partially, this might help explain my overall lukewarm opinion of the film as a whole. Most of the people who were killed were bullies, or covered up for bullies, and thus, I had little to no pity for them. An alpha-male dick that makes people feel miserable gets killed, and the audience is supposed to care? Why? Like, good riddance, right?

That’s just part of it, though. The movie really feels as though it’s unraveling once you get past the thirty minute mark, and while the rest of the film isn’t entirely horrendous, it reeks of mediocrity. I didn’t much care for the design of the ghost, nor did I care for much of the story past a certain point. Honestly, it felt like Friend Request (2016) all over again, only (and here’s the bad part) a little bit worse.

The production quality was good all around, and while the gore wasn’t anything special, I don’t think it was horrible either. The main characters, played by Ronen Rubinstein and Grace Phipps, did a really good job, and hell, there are rather moving scenes and discussions of bullying throughout the film. If they threw out some of the elements in the second half of the film, I think it could have been a lot better. As it is, Some Kind of Hate doesn’t live up to the potential the beginning of the film promises. While it’s a somewhat interesting story, the approach didn’t work for me, and overall, it’s just a below average flick.

5.5/10

Directed by Tom DeNucci [Other horror films: Self Storage (2013), Army of the Damned (2013)]

Almost Mercy isn’t your typical horror film. Narrated by our main character Emily, it chronicles her life growing up with her best friend Jackson, the difficulties they’ve both had, and how messed up they become.

It’s an interesting mix of real-world drama and sarcastic, almost manic at points, narration by Emily, as she lets the audience know about how she first meant Jackson, or how, after being raped, the authorities did nothing because the rapists were “important to the community.” While the first forty minutes has Emily focusing on Jackson and what he went through, it turns more toward Emily after an aborted school shooting.

Honestly, there’s not much horror going on for the first fifty minutes of so, save an instance or two of blood spill. It’s more a dramatic comedy, with Emily, while going through a shitty, disconnected life, goes on about Jackson, her screwed up mother, and the creeps who make the town they live in a terrible place. I can imagine that some would call a majority of the film both meandering and boring, not to mention disjointed in tone. One second, a boy is mocked and terrorized by bullies, the next, Emily’s joking about some aspect or another of her life. That said, I rather liked how the film played out.

While at times I thought the narration was a bit too comedic, I thought we really got to learn about and even care about Emily and Jackson. When Jackson is expelled from school, you can feel for him. When Emily’s mother attempts suicide, you can feel her disdain for her father, as he walked out on them. It felt real, in short. The film takes a turn in the final thirty minutes or so, and it was a logical, satisfactory one.

Let’s talk actors and actresses. Young Emily, played by Eva Senerchia, did a really good job, being as young as she is, showing us the dispassionate life that sometimes a young kid can go through. Danielle Guldin, who played grown-up Emily, did a fantastic job in her role and narration. Grown-up Jackson, played by Jesse Dufault, did pretty good also, though more focus was spent on Emily (which makes sense, as the film was through her point-of-view). Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley, playing a high school coach and a church pastor, respectively, are good in their roles.

Though it takes a while to get there, the gore is also quite solid, and the killing spree at the end was on point, if not occasionally riddled with unnecessary comedic commentary. Almost Mercy seems to be the type of film that will turn off some horror fans. It’s not conventional, it’s a bit enthusiastic in it’s presentation, and the “twist” might not do much for some. Personally, though, despite it’s few shortcomings, I thought it was a great quirky film. It’s not for everyone, but it was for me.

8.5/10