Hard Ride to Hell (2010)

Directed by Penelope Buitenhuis [Other horror films: Killer Bees (2002)]

This is another of those movies that I’ve seen before, but it’s been a pretty long time. I believe I caught Hard Ride to Hell on IFC about ten years ago, and while I didn’t like it, I didn’t hate it. Seeing it again, I can sort of understand that feeling, because as much as I like portions of the film, overall, I can’t say it’s a movie I’d want to see too often.

Shaky is a good way to describe the story – elements are reminiscent of popular films from the 70’s, such as Race with the Devil, as the movie deals with a Satanic motorcycle gang, the leader of whom was cast out of Aleister Crowley’s inner circle for his depraved practices. I didn’t hate the story, until we got to the final thirty minutes or so, when another element was thrown in that I just didn’t care for whatsoever.

To the movie’s credit, there are a few pretty solid performances. Among them is Brent Stait (who had Robert Patrick swagger). I don’t know Stait (who appeared briefly in Final Destination 5), but his character here is fantastically bad-ass, and he reminded me of Henry Rollins’ character from Wrong Turn 2, which is a compliment, believe me. Also appearing was Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Freddy vs. Jason, American Mary, and 13 Eerie), who I entirely forgot was in the film. Isabelle’s performance is quite amusing at times, and has a good quote or two (“I don’t know, maybe the demon people-eating biker monsters can’t go in a church!”), so I dug it.

Other performances aren’t as strong. To be fair, Miguel Ferrer (The Night Flier, The Stand, Sightings: Heartland Ghost, and DeepStar Six) wasn’t bad, but I just didn’t get a great feel for his character. He was nice to see, regardless. Brandon Jay McLaren (Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon) also had some strong moments. Laura Mennell, though, felt weak at times, as did both Sebastian Gacki and Brendan Penny. Luckily, Stait, and Isabelle are more than enough to make up for their mild shortcomings.

Another element Hard Ride to Hell brings with a vengeance is the gore. It’s not over-the-top or anything, but there are plenty of violent portions. A man gets his arm cut off (and cauterized shortly thereafter), someone gets their face drug across a highway, another is forced to walk through glass. Toward the end, there’s some chainsaw action, and someone gets both of their hands cut off, which was also fun. Also, there’s a lot of knife action, mainly coming from Stait’s character, so the movie isn’t afraid to give us a little something something.

That’s not enough to make the movie good, though. Honestly, I enjoyed it a bit more than I was expecting, especially after an opening which I found rather weak (it’s about six minutes of characters speaking in Spanish, all without subtitles), but the finale was generally not great. In fact, without the gore and a few good performances, the movie wouldn’t really be worth it. I can’t say Hard Ride to Hell is worth it even with those elements, but they do make the film a lot more palatable.

I didn’t hate Hard Ride to Hell, and given the rather low rating it boasts on IMDb at the moment (3.8/10 with 1,140 votes, as of 11/29/2021), that’s an accomplishment in itself. It’s not a movie that I think I’d gravitate toward too often, but I’d be lying if I didn’t think some characters and gore made it almost worthwhile. I just wish the story had gone a better direction.

6.5/10