Ozark Sharks (2016)

Directed by Misty Talley [Other horror films: Zombie Shark (2015), Mississippi River Sharks (2017), Santa Jaws (2018)]

Okay, this movie isn’t great. It’s barely good. However, I have to admit that I find Ozark Sharks oddly entertaining at times, and while it’s definitely a movie that’s below average, it’s easily something I can see myself going for again, and as I’ve seen it twice already, that may say all that needs to be said.

I’ll still say more, though, because as a verbose guy, it’s in my nature.

A strong selling point to me about this one is the cast. Few here are really excellent, but who can’t love a cute main character (Allisyn Ashley Arm) with a dorky boyfriend (Ross Britz)? Sure, it’s not original, but Arm’s character is a lot of fun, being a cute bookworm who wears a choker, and Britz has some pretty amusing interactions with both Thomas Francis Murphy’s and Dave Davis’ characters. Davis, on a side-note, also starred in Leprechaun’s Revenge, another movie that I enjoyed more than I probably should.

Michael Papajohn and Laura Cayouette made for decently convincing parents, and Sharon Garrison likewise made a solid grandmother. None of the three were overly plot relevent, but their performances, as they were, were still appreciated. Ashton Leigh was another decently attractive actress, though unlike Arm, she didn’t really do that much during the film. Her character was strong enough, but I was hoping for a bit more from here.

Really, though, as decent as many of the performances are (I think that Britz and Murphy are perhaps the second place contenders), it’s Allisyn Arm that really makes this movie just a bit more enjoyable. Her personality rather amused me throughout, and her dead-pan quote about “enjoying nature’s splendor” is one that I’ve used in my day-to-day life. She’s a lot of fun, and without her, I don’t think Ozark Sharks would have been near as memorable.

As it is, this had simply atrocious special effects and a rather terrible finale. The sharks looked both bland and hideous in their CGI, to be sure, but what had to be the worst scene was one of the sharks getting stabbed with some fireworks. The combination of CGI shark and CGI fireworks was perhaps the worst my eyes have seen in some time. Seeing a shark getting dragged through a wood-chipper was fun and all, to be sure, but I don’t think the ending itself was as satisfying as it could have been.

Like other rather bad Syfy shark films (such as Swamp Shark and Toxic Shark), Ozark Sharks can be rather entertaining at times, and the performances here do bring the film up a bit. It’s still not a particularly good movie, though, and while I could watch it again, it’s not something I’d recommend to others unless I know they enjoy a bad special effect-laden shark film as much as the next guy.

6/10