Directed by Andrew Jones [Other horror films: The Amityville Asylum (2013), The Midnight Horror Show (2014), Valley of the Witch (2014), The Last House on Cemetery Lane (2015), A Haunting at the Rectory (2015), Poltergeist Activity (2015), The Exorcism of Anna Ecklund (2016), The Curse of Robert the Doll (2016), Cabin 28 (2017), The Toymaker (2017), Werewolves of the Third Reich (2017), The Legend of Robert the Doll (2018), The Legend of Halloween Jack (2018), Robert Reborn (2019), The Manson Family Massacre (2019), The Utah Cabin Murders (2019), The Curse of Halloween Jack (2019), The Jonestown Haunting (2020), The Haunting of Margam Castle (2020)]
More than anything, the problem with Robert is that it’s really dry. It’s definitely a bad story, don’t get me wrong, but if there was a little more pep here, maybe some of that could have been heightened a bit. But no, Robert’s just dry, and almost entirely void of any positive aspects worth mentioning. I’ll try to think of something as I carry on though – maybe something will pop up.
Seeing an evil doll wreck havoc on an already dysfunctional family (seriously, the macho husband, who’s scared of his son playing with dolls, was unbearable) didn’t really make for an engaging film, especially given how amateurish some of the scenes and cuts were. I did find it somewhat hilarious that this doll was given to the kid by an elderly maid unable to do her job, who then gets fired. In a petty fashion, she just hoists an evil doll onto the family, and the rest is history.
Well, history is a strong word, because though this is about a killer doll, the most interesting thing about Robert by far is that it’s British. The kills here were weak, the suspense close to non-existent, the acting sub-par (neither leads Suzie Frances Garton or Lee Bane made any impression whatsoever), and everything else pointless.
I’m not giving Robert an extremely low rating, though. Why? Because while much of the movie is poor, it was still palatable in a very bare bones, ultra dry way. Elements of the movie were almost okay, and maybe if a better creative team had been behind this, a bit more life would have been apparent in the film. Robert’s not the worst of the worst. It’s just entirely unremarkable, I certainly wouldn’t recommend this.
This is one of the films covered on the Fight Evil podcast. To listen to Chucky (@ChuckyFE) and I discuss Robert, check the video out below.