Tag: 2005

The Amityville Horror (2005)

Amitville

Directed by Andrew Douglas [Other horror films: N/A]

I won’t pretend to remember much about the original The Amityville Horror (it’s been quite some tifeme since I’ve seen it), but this remake, which I’ve also seen before, strikes me as almost entirely pedestrian despite a few solid sequences.

The movie’s certainly tense, no doubt about it. But movies before did it better (such as the classic Burnt Offerings), and this really adds nothing to the table, which is a shame, as there was a pretty good atmosphere perforating much of the movie.

However, it was held back by it’s utterly Hollywood style. The jump scares, the ghosts no one but the audience can see, the idiotic conclusion, the hideous flashes of ‘scary’ stuff, I hate that type of movie-making. Kids may eat it up, and it may sell tickets, but I’ve no interest in it.

There were some good scenes, though, such as the sequences that took place atop the house. The opening to the film, a flashback of an earlier slaughter, was moderately welcomed also. But then most of the other scares aren’t worth much, and good tension doesn’t erase the taste of an otherwise stale film.

If this remake has anything really going for it, I think it’s the decent acting of the lead, Ryan Reynolds. Throughout the film, he grows more and more unstable, culminating in a blood-less potential carnage. Jesse James (who I know best from 2003’s Fear of the Dark, a long-time favorite of mine) was also noticeable, but I don’t know if he, or really any of the kids, were that crucial to the story.

Honestly, while I really liked some of the scenes and ideas this was going for, it felt incredibly Hollywood, both tame and wrought with unnecessary jump scares meant purely for the audience. I don’t remember if I liked this when I first saw it, but I definitely see it as below average now.

5.5/10

Hostel (2005)

Hostel

Directed by Eli Roth [Other horror films: Cabin Fever (2002), Hostel: Part II (2007), The Green Inferno (2013), Knock Knock (2015), Thanksgiving (2023)]

I’ve always enjoyed Hostel. It’s gritty, somewhat violent, and overall has a good punch to it.

The basic idea is one that I’ve always found fascinating. While it’s expounded on in Part II, having a business around capturing foreigners and, for a fee, letting people torture and kill them is, as the kids say, neat-o. It’s a fun idea, and setting the factory where these mutilations and massacres take place in Slovakia adds to the charm. Technically, the movie is filmed in the Czech Republic, but Slovakia has a more sinister sound to it, and I always liked the idea. Oh, and that torture museum was beautiful.

Another thing that I’ve always rather enjoyed are the main characters. It’s true that Paxton (Jay Hernandez) starts off as a stereotypical American douchebag, as opposed to Josh (Derek Richardson), who is a more reserved, serious individual, but what makes this notable is that while Josh seems like a good candidate to be the focal point, he’s not. What they do with Paxton is impressive – humanizing him by first letting us know he’s a vegetarian, and then later, having him relay a tragic moment in his past. I never liked Paxton, as a character, when I start this film, but I always find him endearing come the finale, and can’t fault him for any of his actions.

Hernandez (also in Quarantine) does a pretty solid job here. After his friends go missing in Slovakia, he drops his whole party boy aesthetic and goes in detective mode, trying to figure out where they went. The personality of his character is an interesting one, and I think Jay Hernandez was well-suited for the role. Derek Richardson (Reeker) had a Breckin Meyer vibe to him, and I always liked Meyer, so he’s aces in my book. Eythor Gudjonsson had some occasional charm (such as it was), Jan Vlasák was appropriately creepy, and Radomil Uhlir (“You want to get stoned?”) was quality.

Naturally, when it comes to Hostel, the gore is what a lot of people bring up. Perhaps I’m somewhat jaded, but it doesn’t really seem that over-the-top. Sure, you have scenes of fingers being cut off, or a chainsaw cutting through someone’s leg, or perhaps a blowtorch to the face, or an eye being snipped off with a pair of scissors. There’s dismembered body parts being thrown into an incinerator (during a sequence as a whole that was fantastic), and people’s heads being beat in with blunt objects. Overall, it’s a somewhat gory film, but I really don’t know if it’s as bad as some might remember it being.

I can’t say when I first saw Hostel, but I can say that it’s held up every time I’ve revisited it. It’s possible that I enjoy the second movie a smidge more, but this one definitely has a lot going for it, and I’m personally happy that Eli Roth made a movie that’s far better than Cabin Fever. It is a minor shame that some characters didn’t have quite the ending you’d hope for, but the finale as a whole was rewarding, and as many times as I’ve seen this, I still find it a tense and satisfying ride.

7.5/10