Bring It On: Cheer or Die (2022)

Directed by Karen Lam [Other horror films: Evangeline (2013), 7 from Etheria (2017), Shevenge (2019, segment ‘Doll Parts’), The Curse of Willow Song (2020)]

Being the first horror film I’ve seen from 2022, Bring It On: Cheer or Die had a lot to live up to, and while this Syfy original has some problems, I can’t say that I didn’t have fun.

In part, likely a large part, I imagine this has to do with the film being a slasher. Syfy have made some decent originals before, such as Killer High, Neverknock, and They Found Hell, but I can’t think of many original slashers of theirs, and luckily, this one was decent.

To be fair, I don’t think they stuck the landing (see, I tried to use cheerleading terms and nailed it, amiright?), and the finale isn’t great. The identity of the killer, and the reason behind the killing, struck me as a bit ridiculous (and by ‘a bit,’ I actually mean ‘a lot’).

Also, some of the humor, such as the Cheer or Die portion (basically, the insane killer revealed themselves, and is now forcing those still alive to perform cheer moves; if they mess up, they die), or how sometimes by performing a cheer move, someone can dodge being struck by an arrow, but it’s overall not as bad as you might think.

I should now mention that I don’t know a thing about Bring It On, which is apparently a cheerleading movie series that started in 2000. I have no idea if this is supposed to be a spin-off, or completely unrelated, but to be honest, as I will never watch a Bring It On movie in my life, I doubt it matters. It’s certainly an interesting use of an idea that some people already know – to be honest, I’ve possibly never once thought about cheerleaders in the last ten years, so this was different.

Also, it’s modern, and by modern, I mean I feel like an old fogey watching it. There’s one scene in which it shows people on their phones, and the texts they’re writing pop up on the screen (like Non-Stop, an action movie I saw once). It only happens once, but reeks of the modern age. There was a joke made about eggplants and tacos – I still use a flip phone, but I was able to follow along with the intended joke well enough.

Like I said, not all the humor hits.

When it comes to performances, I was expecting a little more from Gino Anania and Samuel Braun, but that’s more where the story takes them. I don’t think that Makena Zimmerman’s character was fleshed out that well, and Tiera Skovbye (Summer of 84, Forever 16, Even Lambs Have Teeth) didn’t appear as much as I was hoping.

Even so, much of the central cast of nine is good – Kerri Medders, Alexandra Beaton, Alten Wilmot, Sierra Holder, Rudy Borgonia, Sam Robert Muik, Marlowe Zimmerman, Madison MacIsaac, and Erika Prevost mostly all brought something to the movie. Not all were necessarily memorable – Erika Prevost, Marlowe Zimmerman, and Rudy Borgonia didn’t get a lot of good characterization – but all were at least manageable.

I do think Kerri Medders (Do Not Reply) made for a solid lead. She wasn’t notable insofar as personality goes, but she did well as the main character. For comedic relief, Alten Wilmot was great – his line ‘Oh my God, were the chains on sale?’ cracked me up quite a bit – and I did dig his character. I wasn’t moved by Sierra Holder at first, but then she had a scene with Alexandra Beaton that I thought was awkwardly cute.

See, Beaton’s character finds a notebook with a list in it of the nine characters – not by name, but by stereotype (stoner, slut, jock, badass, klutzy nerd, ditz, sexy blonde, basic bitch, and final girl). Beaton, who sprained her ankle early on in the film, was complaining to Holder that she didn’t find it fair to be labeled the ‘klutzy nerd,’ to which Holder replies, ‘Well, you could be the sexy blonde.’ It wasn’t clear to me if this was intentional flirting or not (as it turns out, it was), but I found it awkwardly cute, and I shipped it immediately.

Sam Robert Muik (A.M.I.) only got one scene to really shine; being a stoner doesn’t usually grant much in the way of staying power in horror movies, unless you’re in The Cabin in the Woods. Even so, he was fun for his moments on air. Lastly, Madison MacIsaac did pretty well as a ditzy blonde. At times, she felt a bit too airheaded, but she was still reasonably fun.

And actually, maybe she wasn’t too airheaded. I remember, back in high school, a teacher was discussing nuclear power plants, and there was a girl in my class who was confused about how plants could be dangerous. She was thinking about plants that grow in the ground, as opposed to power plants. It’s small moments like that which lend credibility to some silly airheaded moments MacIsaac’s character has on-screen.

Unfortunately for a slasher, none of the kills were particularly good. That can’t be a big surprise, given this is a Syfy original and, as such, made-for-TV, but even so, it’s a disappointment. Someone got suffocated with a pom pom, another got their head bashed in, someone else took an ax to the back, but nothing here is at all gory. Also, while the killer’s design is okay – simply the mascot of the school these girls are cheering for – it’s nothing that really stands out much.

Bring It On: Cheer or Die isn’t a good movie, but I can’t say that I didn’t have a decent amount of fun with it. The finale doesn’t do the rest of the film justice, and I could have done without a couple of the sillier moments, but honestly, I had an okay time with this one, and could easily see myself giving it another watch, if only because some of the characters and dialogue were solid. Below average, sure, but not a bad time at all.

6.5/10