Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell (1986)

Directed by Don Swan [Other horror films: N/A]

This is one of those films that I have a hard time hating. Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell isn’t a good movie, but the first half can be pretty amusing, and though the second half is a bit of a struggle, it’s still sort of fun in that ultra low-budget type of way.

At least the plot is unique – a man, Goza, is cursed by the Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood to live forever, feasting on the flesh of people to sustain himself. And so he does – he owns a seafood restaurant, and engages in killing people and practices cannibalism.

The first half of the film just sort of follows a few of the people who enter the establishment. A woman gets killed, and her boyfriend finds her ring in a hamburger. A health inspector gets killed after warning Goza he’d have to shut him down. A police officer finds hair in his beer and soup, and upon investigation, finds dismembered body parts, leading to the greatest scene in the film, in which his head is punched clean off his body.

It’s in the second half of this short film (it runs around 70 total minutes) that things become a little less interesting, though arguably more consistent. Members of the aforementioned Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood regret that they made Goza into what he is, and want to destroy the flesh-eating abomination that they created. With the High Priestess and loyal members, they fight back against the evil of Goza.

To be fair, it’s not a bad way for the story to go, but it felt far more fantasy to me than I personally care for, albeit in a very low budget form. Seeing people killed and chopped up into food is more interesting to me than seeing some Brotherhood strike back against Goza, but that’s because I come to a movie like this for the violence. It’s perhaps partially inspired by Blood Feast, and sometimes feels similar to Blood Diner (though this is a better movie, and I would die on that hill), but whatever went into creating this, boy, what a movie.

Theo Depuay, who played Goza, didn’t really have the suave personality you’d expect from a 600 year old cannibal. People didn’t seem to mind him too much (aside from this guy coming in for a short order cook job – this asshole played by Arnold William may have made one of the funniest scenes in the film), but boy, his personality needs work. There’s also Michael O’Neill, who does most of the killing, and has a solid, hulking menace vibe to him.

If you’re familiar with the VHS cover of this movie, you’ll see why this movie might stand out. Personally, I’ve always found it one of the most memorable covers for a horror film, and way back when I first heard about this movie and saw the cover, I knew I wanted to see it.

As such, it didn’t really impress me when I did finally see it, and I can firmly say it’s not a good movie after seeing it a second time, but that doesn’t mean Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell can’t be an amusing film at times.

5.5/10